Of God and Man
by Elizabeth Robbins
Summary: Logan comes home to find the mansion in an uproar. Jubilee is crying, Kitty is drinking, Scott is snapping at everyone and Jean is spaced out. Logan has to find the source and stop it before the X-Men self distruct. Rated for language COMPLETE
1. Homecomming?

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: I don't own the X-Men and am making no money from this story. Thank-you Stan Lee for dreaming up such wonderful characters for us to play with. You're the best!

A/N: This story deals with religious issues. If you have problems with this, please find another story to read.

Archive: Yes please, just tell me where.

Feedback: Praises and criticism gratefully accepted. Flames will be dumped like the garbage they are.

He could feel the tension in the air the moment he entered the house. There was no one in the foyer but he could smell the scents of anger, frustration and sadness as soon as he opened the door. Had someone died? he thought, his heart sinking. Couldn't be, he discarded the thought instantly. Someone would have contacted him. He'd only been in the city for two weeks and had stayed in touch. It wasn't like he had gone to Japan. He was well within Chuck's range the entire two weeks so what the hell happened?

The heavy tread of boots on the wood floor broke into his thoughts rudely. He looked up to see his petite partner thumping dejectedly down the stairs, her expression sad. He let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. She was okay. He immediately felt guilty. Jubilee was the most important person in his life but she wasn't the only person in his life. There were other he should worry about as well.

Her expression bothered him. Jubilee had a knack for recovering from emotional blows like no one else. She tended to be happy and carefree to the point that sometimes, he felt she wasn't dealing with grief the way she should. She rarely cried and got over her sadness quickly. Usually too quickly. She didn't smile when she looked up and saw him. That worried him even more. Even when she was mad at him, she almost always had a smile for him when he returned from one of his soul searching trips.

"Jubes?" he asked, concerned. "You okay?"

"I don't know," she said in a small voice, tears swimming in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he said as he met her at the bottom on the steps.

"I don't know!" she wailed and threw herself into his arms. "I can't stop feeling like this."

"Did someone die?" he demanded as he picked her up and carried her to the den. She buried her head into his shoulder and shook it.

"Someone sick?"

"That's just it, nothing happened. I don't know why I feel like this. I can't stop crying."

He sat on the sofa in the empty den and pulled her onto his lap. At seventeen, five foot nothing and 109 lbs of solid muscle, she was deceptively tiny. She appeared fragile and helpless. He knew better. She's about as helpless as a cobra. She was a skilled gymnast and, with the training he'd given her over the years, a powerful fighter with near ninja moves and a mutant power that most thought as wimpy. Her paffs were pretty fireworks most of the time but when she needed, they could be deadly. He knew that, when properly motivated, she could level a city block. And if she was angry, she could probably squash a city the size of Albany. There was nothing helpless about this girl.

"When did it start?" he asked.

"About a week ago," she sniffed. "I started feeling kinda blue a coupla days before."

"Anything happen before that?"

"Finals, but I think I did okay."

"Have ya talked ta Chuck or Jean about it?"

"Talked ta Jean but she was too spacey ta listen."

That was bad news. A spaced out telepath was trouble. "Whataya mean 'spacey'?" he growled.

"She wouldn't look at me. I don't think she heard a word I said. I was weird, Wolvie. She stared out the window with a strange look on her face, like she wasn't even there."

"Ya tell Cyke?"

"He yelled at me," she whimpered.

What the hell... Jubilee never backed down from Cyclops. She had the same opinion of the leader of the X-Men he had: Scott Summers had a rod up his ass. She lived to make his life as miserable as possible. He shifted uncomfortably on the sofa.

"Darlin', I need ta talk ta Chuck."

"Don't leave me!" she wailed clutching at his shirt.

"I ain't leaving ya kid," he said as he pealed her hands off his clothes. "I'm gonna take ya to the kitchen and get ya a bowl of ice cream. Ya work on that while I talk ta Chuck."

He carried her into the kitchen and plopped her in a chair and began to dig through the freezer. The ice cream situation was desperate. Most of the remaining cartons were the strange flavors Rogue and Ororo favored. No vanilla or chocolate. He pulled out a carton of rum raisin that Jean had bought last month. No one had been brave enough to try it yet so it was still full. He scooped half the container into a bowl and place it in front of Jubilee.

"Eat slow," he warned. "Ya don't want brain freeze." He armed her with a spoon and kissed the top of her head. "Be back as soon as I can," he told her as he left.

He was very troubled as he made his way to the headmasters office. Jubilee's behavior concerned him. He'd never seen her like this, crying, frightened and clingy. Grabbing his bag, he ran upstairs. His room was in the same hall as Xavier's office so he decided to stop there first and drop off his bag.

The smell of whiskey nearly knocked him over as he approached his room. The door was closed and still locked, he noticed. That could only mean that his other 'daughter' was in there, drinking his stash. Hr fished his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door.

It opened to reveal Kitty Pryde, standing in the center of his room, a bottle of Jack Daniels to her lips.

"I suppose ya got an explanation," he said as he dropped his bag.

"Shut it Logan," she snapped. "I'm legal." she tipped the bottle to her lips and drank deeply.

"I ain't talkin' 'bout yer drinking Kitty," he said as he took the bottle from her. "I'm talkin' 'bout breakin' and enterin' and stealin'."

"Give it back, runt," she snarled.

"Nothin' doing," he said going to the bath and dumping the whiskey in the sink. "If ya get drunk enough, ya stay phased. You'll end up phasing through the building. Maybe through the planet."

"So fucking what!" she yelled. "It's not as if anyone cares what I do. Storm's busy with Evan and you're petting your little Asian puppy."

He whirled, the empty bottle crashing to the floor as he popped his claws. "Get out," he growled low in his throat. "Get out of here before I kill ya." Anger washed over him, his vision turning red.

"Fine," she screamed. "I'll just go see what your little friend is doing."

"Stay away from her Pryde," he threatened. "Ya touch her, I will kill you."

As she swept past him, he could smell the rage pouring off her, fueling his own. He struggled, trying to keep himself from going after her and gutting her. His fists were clenched, his claws out and trembling. I'm losin' it, he thought. He took several deep breaths in an attempt to control himself and contain the rage.

Stop it, he told himself. Kitty would never hurt Jubilee. They have their differences but Kitty is an X-Man and X-Men don't kill.

You have. So has Kitty, the little voice in the back of his head told him. She's a trained ninja and Ogun made her into a killer.

Ogun made her do it, he told the voice. It wasn't her choice.

Wasn't it? The voice asked slyly.

Shut up, he snarled to the voice.

'Logan,' Xavier's mental voice overpowered the devil in his head. 'I'm going to contain your rage temporarily. I need you clear headed right now.' He felt the rage seep out of him like a deflating balloon and his vision cleared.

'What the hell is going on?' he demanded. 'Kitty's drinking herself to death, Jeannie's spaced out, Cyke's yelling at Jubes and Jubilee's crying constantly.'

'Come to my office. I need your help.'


	2. Crisis

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: Usual crap. Not mine but I love Stan for bringing them to us. Hugs and kisses Mr. Lee.

Archive: Be my guest but tell me where.

Feedback: Reviewers will be remembered in my prayers. Flammers will be cursed roundly.

Chapter 2

"What's is going on around here," Logan demanded as he took a seat in front of Xavier's desk. "Everyone's acting like they're in a badly written soap opera."

"Ten days ago, we brought a new mutant to the school," Xavier sighed, rubbing his temples. "She's an empath with the ability to project emotion but not feel them from others. She would be a valuable asset to the teams but she has little to no control."

"She's causing all this?" he asked in horror. "She's tearing the team apart!"

"I know that," snapped Charles.

"Send her back," Logan demanded.

"I can't. She's caused two riots and an orgy in Bakersfield. If I send her back, the city will be in flames in under a week. She can't go back anyway. The convent threw her out. She has nowhere else to go."

"Convent?"

"She's a nun. A Sister of Mercy," Xavier told him. Pain was clear on his face. The effort of controlling Logan's rage as well as reinforcing his own shields was telling.

"How old is she?" Logan asked suspiciously.

"Twenty three," Xavier said. "She was able to hide this long by staying in seclusion. Five months ago, she was transferred to Bakersfield to teach at Holy Angels school. The problems started when she was assigned the special education class. The first riot started after a student assaulted her. The second was after she spoke to the child's parents."

"And the orgy?"

Xavier cleared his throat with embarrassment. "She took a nap and had an erotic dream. The sensations she experienced were projected in a half mile radius around the convent."

"You were there, weren't you?"

"Yes," he admitted, his cheeks pink. "That's how I found her. I knew I was being manipulated so I searched. She an alpha class empath Logan. She can project any emotion, not just strong ones. She can also dampen even the strongest hate. She could be the edge we need to make people listen to us but if she can't control her own emotions, she's a liability we can't risk. If she can't learn control..."

"I'll hafta kill her," Logan finished for him.

"I don't want to order her death," he told Logan.

"What do you want me ta do?"

"You have the most experience in controlling your emotions," Xavier said as he pulled a file from his desk. "Teach her how to cage the beast."

"Me?" he asked incredulously. "I have enough trouble keeping my head as it is and ya want me ta train an empath? Are ya crazy?"

"But you can cage your animal side. You let it loose when you need to but you keep it under control most of the time." Logan got up and began to pace. "I wouldn't ask you if I didn't think you could do it."

Logan continued to pace. Could he do this? Xavier seemed to this so. What if her emotions overpowered his control before he could teach her to contain them? Would he end up killing her?

"I'll support you as best I can until she learns control," Xavier assured him. "I have to leave the others alone in order to keep your rage in check."

"Oh shit," Logan whispered.

"What?"

"Kitty'll kill Jubilee unless ya shut her down," Logan said, his face pale. "She got the anger and most of it's pointed at Jubes."

"I can't," he explained, distressed. "It's taking everything I have to control you and hold my shields. Can you get her into a cell?"

"She'll just phase out of it," Logan told him. "Can Hank sedate her?"

"Henry is in the middle of a crying episode and is unable to function as a doctor at this time."

"Who is functioning here?" he threw his hands up, angry.

"You, me and possibly Storm."

Logan thought for a moment. The plan he had in mind wasn't perfect but it'll have to do.

"I'll put myself in a cell," he explained to Xavier. "Have Ororo get Kitty to the lab. Take the controls off me and give 'em ta Blue. Get him ta sedate her then 'Ro can watch her. Once she's under, switch off Beast and give me back the brain clamp."

"What if Ororo can't control her?"

"Dart her if ya hafta but get her down. Right now, she's the most dangerous. If the anger spreads ta 'Ro, we're in big trouble."

"I agree," Xavier told him. "Storm has had years of practice controlling herself but she doesn't have your shields. She's not used to protecting herself from psychic attacks. If she gets angry, she'll kill everyone."

"I'll be in cell eight," Logan said as he left.

The door clanged shut and with a click, the auto lock engaged, The cell was specifically designed to hold him. It was built shortly after he came to the school. So far, the only occupants have been Sabretooth and himself. The bars were electrified adamantium and the walls were thin sheets of the same metal. Even in a berserker rage, there was no way for him to get out without help.

He felt Chuck withdraw from his mind and the rage returned. He immediately lowered himself to the floor and flipped his legs into a lotus position. Closing his eyes and taking deep breaths, he began to meditate.

Concentrate on your breathing, he told himself.

In...

Out...

In...

Out...

A Japanese garden appeared in his mind, the same one he had met Mariko in. A gentle breeze played over his skin. He opened his eyes to find himself naked.

In...

Out...

His eyes drifted closed again.

In...

Out...

In...

The sweet perfume of night blooming jasmine swirled in the breeze; Mariko's scent.

Out...

In...

Out...

In...

"Logan-san?" her voice soft, sweet and longing.

"Mariko," he moaned.

"You call, my love," she whispered. "I come."

"I need you," he murmured.

"I know," she said. He felt her fingers brush through his hair. He reached up to grab her hand but his fingers passed through hers. It was always like this. She came when he meditated but he couldn't touch her. She could touch him but only his hair.

"Won't you open your eyes and look at me?" she asked.

"It hurts," he whispered painfully. "If I look, I want to touch you and I can't."

"Why do you call me if it is so painful?" she asked.

"Because you calm me," he told her, his eyes closed. "You give my soul peace."

Her fingers continued to stroke his hair, his frazzled nerves healing.

"This woman you must see," she said, her tone soft and comforting. "She bothers you."

"I may have to kill her," he told Mariko. "If she isn't able to control herself, it may be necessary to kill her to prevent her anger from spreading."

"You are unsure of your ability to help her," Mariko stated.

"How can I help her control her emotions if I can barely control my own?"

"You give yourself too little credit Logan-san," she said. He could hear the smile in her voice. "You are much stronger than you believe yourself to be. You can control a very powerful and dangerous animal. You do not allow the beast inside you to range free."

"But I do," he objected. "I feel it trying to break free every time I fight. Sometime it takes everything I have to keep from killing."

"But you don't," she said firmly. "You keep the beast on a short rope and don't let it have it's way. The only time you let it free is when you are pushed beyond your limits."

She continued to calm him as he thought about what she said.

"Be grateful you aren't a woman," she told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"Everyone has a beast beneath the surface. When a man lets his animal out, it is possible to frighten it into fleeing. When a woman lets her beast out, it is not possible to frighten the animal. She will not retreat. A woman will die before allowing anyone she loved to be hurt."

"My beast won't run."

"That is because your beast knows you will recover from injury," she explained. "A woman will not even give a thought that she might die. If she is protecting her family, she will do what ever she must to save them. You know this Logan-san."

He knew she was right. You could always frighten an angry man but you could never frighten an angry woman. He would need to keep his head.

"You will do fine," she whispered. "Now go. Jubilee is calling for you."

He opened his eyes to see her fading face, love sparkling in her eyes.

"I love you," she said as she disappeared.

"I love you too," he found himself crying as he returned to the cell.

"Wolvie?" Jubilee asked. "Are ya okay?"

"I'm fine," he told her gruffly.

"Why are ya in there?" she asked. Her eyes were red from crying but he could see the sadness was leaving and anger was taking it's place. He was going to have to do something. If she gave in to the anger, everyone would definitely die. He knew what she was capable of.

"Never mind," he told her. "Let me out."

"Are ya sure?"

"C'mon Jubes, stop dicking around. I gotta see the new recruit."

"All right," she said sourly. "Keep yer shorts on." She went to the keypad and punched in her code, unlocking the door.

He exited the cell and pulled her into his arms, giving her a tight hug. He could feel her struggle against him, her temper rising.

"Sorry 'bout this darlin'," he murmured and flung her into the cell. He quickly slammed the door and locked it adding his own over-ride code to the sequence to keep anyone but himself or Xavier from opening the door.

"I'll let ya out when things calm down," he yelled as he ran down the hall, dodging paffs as he went. Her screams of rage followed him.

He stopped in the Med Lab long enough to check on Kitty and get a dart gun. Ororo looked as if she had lost something and couldn't find it. She reaked of frustration with a small amount of sadness. She assured him she would be okay for a while but she admitted that is was hard not to give into the emotions.

"Keep Kitty sedated," he instructed. "If she gets out, she'll start killin'. Same with Jubes."

"Where is Jubilation?" Storm asked.

"Cell eight," Logan told her. "I got over-ride codes in place so no one will let her out but be careful going down that hall. She's shooting high powered paffs. Keep a dart gun handy and a box of darts. Shoot anyone who looks angry. Try and keep 'em outta Chuck's office. If ya can't, bring him down here. He needs ta stay conscious and in control of his emotions. Don't let Synch anywhere near this new mutant. Ya might hafta dart him sooner."

"Logan, what are you going to do?"

"What I need ta do, 'Ro," he told her.

"You aren't going to kill her are you?"

"Only if I need ta. I want ta help her control her emotions so Chuck can help her build shields but if she won't let me help, then yeah, I'll kill her."

He left the Med Lab with a dart gun, two boxes of darts and a heavy heart.


	3. The New Mutant

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: Not mine. No cash. Don't sue.

A/N: Thanks to all who read and reviewed (You know who you are people). Here's the rehash: Logan has come home from a trip to find the mansion in the middle of an emotional meltdown. Xavier needs him to try to reach a new mutant who can control the emotions of those around her. By the way, he can't use sex. She's a nun. Kitty's ready to kill Jubilee and Jubes is ready to kill Wolvie. Hank's a mess, and Storm's holding on by the skin of her teeth. Charles is holed up in his study, trying to hold Logan together long enough to talk to the girl, or kill her, he's not sure yet.

Thanks to Stan Lee, Chris Claremont, Jim Lee and all the others who have written and drawn the X titles and Wolverine over the years. You guys are the best.

Feedback: Pretty please? Just hit the button at the bottom on the page and let me know what you thought.

Chapter 3 The New Mutant

'Where is she?' Logan asked in his head.

"A mile to your south near the fence,' Charles responded.

'Ya sound tired,' Logan told him as he made his way toward the mutant.

'I am,' Charles told him with a mental sigh. 'I also have the worst migraine I have ever had.'

'So what's this girl's name?'

'Carolyn Gibson,' Charles told him. 'Didn't you read the file I gave you?'

'Couldn't,' Wolverine told him as he ran through the grounds in a comfortable lope. 'Had ta keep Kitty from killin' Jubes, then keep Jubes from killin' me.'

'Where is Jubilee? Her emotions have changed from despair to anger but she's not moving.'

'I locked her inta cell eight. She woulda blown the place up if I didn't.'

'Has it gotten that bad?' Charles asked shocked.

''Ro's holding it together,' he told his mentor. 'She's just now getting sad. I think we have have a few days before she looses it.'

'If Storm looses her temper, I will need to drop our link and shut her down,' Charles cautioned him. 'Can you function without me?'

'Maybe,' he told him. 'I meditated while I was in the cell. I think I can block most of her emotions unless she really goes all out.'

'Do what ever you can Logan,' Charles told him. 'I can only give you two days at the most. If Ororo or Jean slip into anger, you will have to kill her quickly.'

'I'll keep that in mind. Gotta go. I can smell a camp fire.'

The property belonging to Charles Xavier was vast, covering over five hundred acres and Logan was familiar with every inch of it. The forest contained within the electrified fences was a second home to him. He knew every cave, every tree and every blade of grass. He knew when something was out of place. The smoke rising from a clump of trees was very out of place.

He crept slowly up to the camp, searching for possible threats. It was an automatic response. All of his training had caused him to treat the unknown as a threat until proved different. This unknown was attacking the X-Men, not that she knew she was doing it. He had to do his best to eliminate the threat and stop the attacks.

The camp, he saw, was rude. He had made many of them over the years. A small firepit, a pile of blankets that he recognized as coming from the mansion, a cup and a frying pan. The woman was not there

He caught her scent from the bedding and went in search of her. She wasn't far away. About a hundred yards from camp, he found her setting snares on a game run.

"You know your way around a primitive camp," he remarked from the trees.

She whirled around to face him, taking a low, defensive stance.

"Who are you?" she demanded her voice tremor ed slightly with fear.

"Relax Carolyn," he told her in what he hoped was a friendly voice. Her fear was making him react. "I'm from the mansion."

"How do I know that?" she asked, her eyes narrowing.

"Who the hell else would be out here?" he countered.

"Codename?" she barked.

"Wolverine," he barked right back. "Satisfied?"

"I guess," she said as she straightened still wary. "Xavier send you?"

"Yeah."

"What took you so long? I've been camping in these woods for over a week."

"There are... problems at the mansion," he hedged. "I just got back today."

"Couldn't anyone come out and tell me?" she demanded. "Would it have been too much trouble to let me come in and sleep in a real bed? What is it with you people? Xavier insists I stay as far away from the house as possible but he can't bring himself to talk to me face to face."

"Ya need ta calm down," he told her, the anger washing over him in waves. "That's the problem."

She stopped her tirade in sudden surprise. "What did I do?'' she asked.

"Yer emotions are controlling the team," he told her. "By now, most of 'em are angry."

"Oh no," she whispered.

"Chuck asked me ta teach ya how ta control yer emotions."

"You," she scoffed. "You have a reputation for being a hot head. What can you teach me?"

"I'm trained as a Samurai," he told her as he led her back to the camp. "Part of the training is meditation."

"And this will help me how?" she asked doubtfully.

"The meditation and my own will is what keeps me human. Without them, the part of me that is an animal would have killed ya by now."

"Oh," she said in a small voice.

"I'm not gonna kill ya," he told her. "I'm here ta help ya control yer raw emotions. Chuck'll teach ya to shield. Then I'm gonna turn ya over ta Storm who'll teach ya how ta use yer powers with a softer touch."

"Storm is empathic?"

"Nah. Storm controls the weather. She uses her emotions ta cause winds and storms and other things like that. She hasta control her emotions or we'd be flooded every time she has her period."

She blushed red. "That's too much information Wolverine."

"My friends call me Logan."

"Am I your friend?" She looked straight into his eyes. Logan wasn't used to that. His own teammates rarely looked him in the eye. Jubilee did but she trusted him like no one else.

"I don't know yet," he admitted.

"At least you're honest," she remarked as she sat on the ground. She examined her fingernails closely. He could tell she had something on her mind but was reluctant to tell him. "Has anyone died?" she whispered.

"Not yet," he told her. "But if you don't control yer anger, someone will and it may be you."

Her head popped up in surprise. "You'd kill me?"

"I don't want ta," he told her. "But if ya can't control yerself, I may hafta to protect the public."

She was silent for a long time. "Is it that bad?"

"You've got a bunch of powerful mutants, who are used ta psychic attacks, ready ta kill each other. Yer responsible fer two riots and one orgy. If we turn ya loose on the world, ya could start a war."

"I guess if I weren't celibate there would be a population explosion," she said sourly.

"I'm glad ya are," he told her. "I, fer one, don't need the help."

"My, aren't you full of yourself."

"Just honest," he said smugly.

She needed to change the subject, quick. "How do I meditate?" she asked.

He let it slide and dropped to the ground beside her and crossed his legs.

"Find a comfortable position ta sit in," he instructed.

She arranged herself in a comfortable slouch.

"Ya need ta straighten up and give yerself room ta breathe."

She straightened he back and folded her legs. "Why is it that you aren't affected?" she asked as she settled herself.

"Meditation and a boost from Xavier," he admitted. "I have trouble controlling my anger, I admit, but I can help ya dampen down the rage until ya can do fer yerself."

"What now?"

"Concentrate on yer breathing," he told her. "Take deep breaths, in and out. Imagine breathing in the calm and breathing out the anger." He demonstrated.

She watched as he took large breaths, in and out. "Okay, I get that." She followed his instructions, breathing deeply. A calm began to wash over her. One she hadn't felt since she left seclusion.

"There's a place in yer mind that makes ya feel safe. I want ya ta find it." He watched as he breathing rhythm faltered as she searched her mind. "Concentrate on yer breathing."

"How can I do both?" she asked.

"The breathing'll take care of itself, just try to relax," he told her. "Close yer eyes. It'll make it easier ta do everything."

Her eyes slammed shut. He could smell she was still angry and agitated. "Where do ya feel safe?" he asked her.

"The day chapel at Mother of Mercy," she told him not opening her eyes.

"Can ya see it in yer head?" She nodded, a slight smile on her face. "Go there."

"Can I pray?" she asked.

"Ya can do what ever ya want. It's yer safe place."

He watched as her features began to relax, the tension flowing out of her. The scent of anger started to dissipate.

'It's working,' Charles told him in his head. 'She's much calmer.'

'She's not in control yet,' Logan told him.

'I know,' he said 'but she's not projecting anger and fear any more. I can help her now. Please tell her I am going to contact her. I don't want her to shower us with terror.'

"Carolyn, Chuck is going ta enter yer mind. He wants ta talk ta ya but he doesn't want ta scare ya."

"Okay," she answered calmly. He felt Xavier leave his mind and his emotions flooded back. He quickly slipped into his garden and sorted them out. He dampened the anger and pulled the happiness to the front. It took him five minutes.

When he opened his eyes, Carolyn was still beside him, her eyes closed and a look of peace on her face. Chuck was obviously still talking to her. He waited patiently while they talked.

Thirty minutes later, she opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Professor Xavier has helped me build a shield," she told him.

'The shield is not perfect but you can bring her inside now,' Xavier told him. 'We will need to put her in a shielded room. She's still leaking emotions.'

"Get yer stuff together," he told her. "I'll find ya a room." Joy washed over him as she got up from the ground and went to the fire to douse it.

"Yer projecting joy now," he told her.

She straightened, a blanket in her hands. "Is that a problem? I mean, that's a positive emotion."

"Yer gonna hafta stop projecting all of yer emotions, not just the bad ones," he told her, helping her gather her belongings. "It's not fair ta force other people ta feel what yer feeling. Ya hafta control all of 'em, good and bad."

"Will I be able to let go in my room? Professor Xavier it would be shielded."

"The shields won't keep the stronger emotions from being broadcasted. Joy, love, lust, hate, rage; they're all strong emotions and will leak through the shields. Ya can't depend on artificial shields ta do what ya need ta do fer yerself."

He grabbed the last blanket and shook it out. Her small pack was lying near the fire. "That all ya brought?" he asked as he picked it up.

"That's all I have. The Sisters of Mercy is a poor convent. We didn't have the finer things in life."

He reply was a grunt. He flung the pack on his back as she gathered the blankets. "Let's go," he said.


	4. The Marque Du Sade School of Fittness

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter one

A/N: Thanks to Beany, Blix Howlet and all my other reviewers. You guys rock. Don't expect canon with this one people. I'm putting characters in the story who best fit. I don't care if they're dead or alive. Religion is going to come to the forefront now. Kurt is coming home from England. There is no romance but Wolvie is attracted to Carolyn. He's a man guys, he thinks with his dick. Those of you who are Catholic will recognize some of the references. Those who are not and are curious, e-mail me and I will explain them.

Thanks again to Stan Lee and the geniuses at Marvel for the unauthorized use of their babies. I'll put them back when I'm through.

Chapter Four: Training from Hell

Several weeks passed and Carolyn was settling as best she could. She still had problems with the occasional burst of emotion but the team was learning to cope. Her shield still gave her problems at times. A sudden bloom of anger would bring them crashing down. She learned to meditate in some of the oddest places. It was not unusual to find her sitting on the couch in front of a blaring television, deep in meditation, trying to repair her shattered shield.

It was there that Kurt Wagner found her the morning he came home from England. Logan had called him to tell him about the nun/empath. He had to admit, he was a little nervous. The nuns he had known in Germany were formidable women. They wouldn't take crap from anyone. He wondered if it was a requirement to enter the sisterhood to be ugly and mean. What he found surprised him.

She was dressed in jeans and a polo shirt, her feet bare and her brown hair long and wavy. A tiny crucifix peeked out from the shirt. She was much younger than he thought she should have been. Nuns were older women, he thought to himself, not this beautiful vision in the prime of her life.

"Are you going to introduce yourself or just stare at me?" she asked, not opening her eyes. She had learned to carry on a semi intelligent conversation while still meditating.

"Sorry," he blushed purple. "I'm Kurt Wagner. Logan told me you were here and asked me to meet you."

"Carolyn Gibson," she said. "Logan told me not to be afraid of you appearance. He also told me you were a priest. Is that true?"

"It's complicated Sister," he squirmed. "I thought I was but it ended up to be an elaborate mind game someone played on me."

"Don't call me Sister," she said. "I've been thrown out of the convent. I keep my vows because they were to God, not to the convent, but I can't claim to be a nun any more."

"You have kept your vows?" he asked, surprised.

"Expulsion from the convent has not released me from my vows and I don't wish to be released. I am what I am and my devotion to God is part of me. I can't throw away a lifetime of service simply because of a bunch of frightened women."

"And the turmoil you caused here and in Bakersfield?"

"I have confessed to God and am doing the penance I have assigned myself." She opened her eyes and looked at Kurt. "He did say you looked like a blue demon. I guess I shouldn't be so surprised."

"I could turn on my image inducer if you wish," he told her, his head lowered in shame.

"You are as God made you. Don't be ashamed of it." She cocked her head and her eyes went glassy. Kurt recognized the signs of telepathic conversation. "I have to go. Logan wants me to start some exercises." She got up and looked down at him. "I am starting a Novena tonight for the health of the Pope. Will you join me?"

"I would be honored," he said bowing over her hand.

"After dinner in my room," she told him as she left the den.

"The Kata is a series of movements that are used in many forms of martial arts," Logan explained. "The progression from one movement to the next brings a peace to the mind that, with meditation, can help ya control better."

They were standing in a large patch of lawn in the middle of Ororo's gardens. Flowers were blooming around them in a riot of color. This was his favorite place to do his exercises. The scents from the flowers and trees was invigorating and renewed his spirit.

"The positions are easy," he told her. "The trick is ta make one flow to the next. That ain't easy."

He demonstrated the first two movements for her then motioned for her to do them, correcting her position several times. They went through the exercise too many times for Carolyn to count. By the time he sent her back to the mansion, she was sweaty and exhausted.

She met Jubilee in the hall as she trudged up to her room to soak in a hot bath. Carolyn had come to like the gregarious teenager. She wasn't afraid to express herself.

Carolyn had spent most of her life suppressing her true nature. The sisters had demanded she tone down her natural exuberance in deference to the solemn nature of the convent. She became used to hiding her feelings until her mutation manifested at thirteen. She still gave no outward clues as to her feelings but the inner turmoil began to transfer to the sisters. The Mother Superior advised prayer to help her sort out the turbulent emotions that came along with puberty and adolescence. She hadn't been surprised to find that it worked.

She was raised Catholic and religion had been a focus in her thoughts for all her life. After her parents death when she was eight, she had come to live in the convent with her aunt Theresa. When she was appointed Mother Superior of the convent, Carolyn, naturally, stayed and took the vows of a novice. She knew her emotions were being transferred to the sisters but was too afraid to tell her aunt. She kept her secret by praying constantly in her head. Even after Carolyn and her aunt were transferred to Bakersfield to teach, six months before everything started to come apart.

Three days after the riot that left the rectory a smoldering ruin, Charles Xavier and Jean Grey knocked on the convent door and her life was turned inside out. Mother Superior insisted on being at the meeting between Carolyn and the two telepaths. Charles and Jean had tried to make themselves clear without revealing to the imposing nun that her niece was a mutant but when Aunt Theresa had asked her what she did, Carolyn couldn't lie. She told her what had happened.

Inside of two hours, she found herself in the back seat of a taxi, Jean beside her and Charles in front, her ears still ringing from the screeches of Mother Superior telling her never to come back. She cried until they were on the plane for New York when Jean reached over and turned her mind off.

She came to in the back seat of a vintage Rolls Royce. Charles told her that they were going to a school he ran for mutants and promised to help her control her powers but she would have to control her own emotions first. For the first time in her life, Carolyn couldn't pray. Her mind was filled with rejection and anger. The prayers wouldn't come.

They had first tried electronic shields but her raw, uncontrolled emotions overwhelmed them quickly. Charles had attempted to block her powers but was unsuccessful. As a last ditch effort, they handed her what equipment they had and asked her to make camp in the woods. She stayed there, fuming and crying, until Logan showed up a week later.

With his help, she moved back into the mansion and apologized to everyone for the trouble she had caused. Most had forgiven her but Kitty Pryde still looked at her with hostile eyes and Remy LaBeau avoided her completely. The others accepted her with varying degrees of warmth but she had gotten close to Jubilee.

"Hey Jubes," she said as she entered to house after her lesson with Logan.

Jubilee took in the battered appearance in front of her. "You look whipped," she remarked. "What happened?"

"Logan," she moaned. "He's trying to kill me."

"The Marque de Sade school of fitness," smiled Jubilee. "I'm a graduate. If Wolvie was trying ta kill ya, you'd be dead."

"Ya ain't a graduate yet kid," Logan said from behind Carolyn. "Ya still got more ta learn." He slid past her carrying the mats bumping her with one as he went by. She hissed in pain as the soft mat collided with a sore spot on her shoulder. "Danger Room in ten minutes Carol." he said as he strode down the hall.

She hung her head in defeat. "Told ya he was trying to kill me," she growled at Jubilee.

"Stop and see Hank and get a pain killer," she told her. "It'll get better in a few days."

"Promises, promises," she grumbled as she made her way, painfully, to the lower levels.

This was her first time in the Danger Room. She had observed the team in training and had been impressed with their skills. She had no illusions that she would ever reach their level but she knew she needed to learn to protect herself. Being a mutant in a world full of humans who feared and loathed you wasn't safe. Being an alpha level mutant in that same world was outright dangerous.

Both Logan and Charles had warned her that she will become a target for anyone seeking to control the world by using her powers. They had both told her stories about the mutants and humans most likely to come after her. That was enough to convince her to allow Logan to show her how to hurt someone enough so they wouldn't come after her. Logan had tried to teach her how to kill if necessary but she had refused to learn.

"If it comes down to killing or falling inta the hands of someone like Magneto, you'd better kill," he tried reasoning with her.

"If I fall into the hands of someone who would use me, I expect the X-Men to kill me," she told him. "I'm not saying I won't fight back Logan, but I won't kill. Nothing you can say will change that."

He shook his head in disbelief. "Even Cyke will kill when he doesn't have a choice."

"There's always a choice."

"Not always. Would ya rather be dead or captured?"

"I can't sacrifice a life for my freedom." She was beginning to get angry with him. Why couldn't he accept that she couldn't do it?

"Why the hell not?" he yelled. "They'd sacrifice yers."

"That doesn't make it right," she yelled back, her control slipping.

Logan felt it. Anger was building up inside him and the beast started to pace it's cage.

"If ya stick ta yer religious principles, yer gonna end up dead or in the hands of yer enemies," he growled. Why was she being so stubborn?

"Maybe it's God's will that it happen."

His vision was beginning to turn red with anger. He felt the pain of his claws emerging and knew she was in mortal danger.

"Calm me," he ordered through clenched teeth.

He eyes went round with fear but she obeyed. She closed her eyes and she jumped into her chapel and began to project calm. It wasn't easy. She was very frightened. She needed to push the fear away before she could access the calm. When she opened her eyes, his fist, with all of the claws extended was inches from her face. He was breathing heavily but his eyes were clearing.

The claws slowly retracted into his forearms and his arm lowered. His eyes were hard but completely clear. Suddenly, he smiled.

"Knew ya could do it."

"What?" she yelled. "You did this on purpose?"

"Course," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her up off the floor.

"Why?" She was astounded. "You could have killed me."

"'Ro and I decided ya needed a boost to yer self confidence. Yer afraid ta use yer powers on other people. I figured if ya can calm me, yer gonna be able ta calm a crowd of angry people."

"This was a test?" she demanded.

"Yep," he confirmed. "I was near a berserker rage from the anger ya were projecting. Ya calmed me by switching off the anger and turning on the calm." He spread his arms to his side, showing that they were both whole and unharmed. "Ya did it darlin'. We both survived."

"I did it?" she said in a small voice. He nodded happily. "I did it," she shrieked and threw herself into his arms hugging him close. His arms wrapped around her to return the hug.

Logan's rages have a side effect that the women in the mansion are all well aware of. Carolyn was introduced to the problem when she hugged him and his erection pressed tightly against her belly. She pulled out of the embrace, her cheeks pink.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "Yer an attractive woman and my body's aware of that."

"It's okay," she told him. "It's part of being a man. I must say, I'm flattered your body likes mine but I'm taken."

"I know," he told her, "but that part of me doesn't have any brain cells."

"That's why God put your brain up here," she said tapping his head, "and not..."

"I get it," he interrupted.

She laughed at his discomfort. "I taught sex education Logan. I'm fully aware of the function of the human male as a sexual being."

"How did a virgin nun end up teaching sex ed?" he asked.

"I was the youngest teacher in the school," she explained as they left the Danger Room. "The administrators figured that the students would listen to me because I was closer to them in age than any of the others. Better me than Sister Margaret. She is fifty-three and the next youngest. She is also a prude. I understand that teenagers are curious about sex. I answered their questions truthfully and was willing to discuss birth control as long as it was off church property."

"Didn't ya get inta trouble fer that?"

"I taught abstinence during class but I let everyone know that if they had other questions, I would see them in the book store across the street," she said with a shrug. "It worked."

The elevator door opened with a swoosh and Remy LaBeau stepped out. "I better go. I'll see you at lunch." She entered the elevator and pressed the button for the third floor.

"Ya can't avoid her ferever Gumbo," Logan said to his friend.

"She makes Gambit uncomfortable," he admitted.

"You were raised Catholic weren't ya?"

"Oui," he replied. "A nun rejected by her convent is bad news, homme. I gotta bad feelin' 'bout her."


	5. The Sex Ed Teacher

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter 1. I ain't gonna repeat my self except to say thanks Stan.

A/N: Rogue's home. Remy's in trouble now. He don't know it but they're gonna have problems with a religious issue. Could this be the final straw for my favorite X couple?

Feedback: Yes Please. I need all the pats on the head I can get. I have no life.

Chapter 5 The Sex Ed Teacher

Remy LaBeau was used to doing for himself. He had grown up in the alleys of New Orleans where he was responsible for himself from a very early age. He had been taken in and adopted by the Thieves Guild after trying to pick the pocket of it's leader. Jean-Luc LaBeau had felt sorry for the young waif because he was such a poor thief and decided to teach him how to do it right. Years later, he was a skilled acrobat, fighter and thief and his father was insufferably proud of him.

Remy's mutation was apparent at birth, black eyes with fiery red irises. It was the reason he had been dumped by his parents. It also was the reason he was such a good thief. His mutation gave him incredible flexibility, agility and the ability to take the potential energy stored in an object and convert it into kinetic energy. Things had a habit of going 'boom' around him.

He joined the X-Men after a series of unfortunate events led to his expulsion from New Orleans with a warning to never come back. Remy was a pragmatic man and decided to make his fortune elsewhere. The X-Men seemed to be the lesser evil. That and he wanted to get into the pants of the beautiful Rogue. The fact that her skin would suck the life force out of him made the chase considerably more interesting. Getting into her bed would take all of his empathy and not a little imagination. She has resisted his advances for a long time and Remy loved a challenge, but after all these years, he had still not been able to kiss her and remain conscious long enough to remember it. Needless to say, he hadn't made it into her bed yet.

That's not to say that she never took a lover. Joseph had been able to avoid being drained by her powers and they had enjoyed a sexual relationship. Unfortunately, Rogue's carnal knowledge of Joseph had made it more difficult for Remy after her lover's apparent death rather than easier. Rogue now knew what she was missing and craved it even more but she couldn't take the risk of killing Remy with her powers. Her resistance became phenomenal.

Remy was content to play with her, coming close enough for her to feel his hot breath on her skin but never touching. He would go to the prostitutes in town when the tension got to be too much but as long as Rogue never found out, he was okay.

Rogue, however, was in hell. She had taken time after Joseph's death to mourn but soon found that she missed the closeness and the sex she got from him. She had never thought of herself as a sensual woman but he had proved her wrong. Now, with Remy playing games with her, she was regretting getting involved with Joseph in the first place. She had been much better off not knowing what she was missing.

Carolyn had been present when Rogue returned to the X-Men and saw Remy's reaction. She could tell that the Cajun thief loved her and was sure that Rogue loved him. She wasn't sure why their reunion was so cool but she promised herself that she would get to the bottom of this mystery. The first person she thought of was the mansion gossip; Jubilee.

"What's with Remy and Rogue?" Carolyn asked her as they lounged beside the pool. Logan had to go to the city for Xavier and canceled her training for the day. He had left with the warning that she would have to work harder tomorrow to make up for the missing day. She was so not looking forward to tomorrow.

"They've been in love for as long as I can remember," Jubilee told her. "Rogue's powers make it so she can't touch anyone without draining them of their life force or with a mutant, their powers."

"That sucks," Carolyn remarked. That would be like being damned to hell while still alive. "Has Hank tried to do anything?"

"Hank tried for years to help her. He's too busy with Legacy to work on it now. Rogue was involved with someone for a while. His own powers resisted hers so they were able to have a relationship."

"What happened to him?"

"He was killed in South America trying to save a bunch of kids. Rogue was real torn up about it for a long time but she seems to be better now."

"And Remy still wants her even after she left him for another man?"

"You know," Jubilee said as she turned on her side to look at Carolyn. "I think he's glad she had Joseph. I'm not sure Remy would know what to do with a virgin. Now that she's not, he can figure out how to get her into bed."

"Maybe that's why he avoids me," Carolyn mused.

"He avoids you because you were a nun," she told her. "Remy was raised Catholic but hasn't been to church in years. I think he's afraid you'll bring the wrath of God down on him."

"Ah," she sighed, "the post Vatican II confusion. I'll give him space but I want to meet Rogue."

"Why don't you go up and see her later," Jubilee suggested. "She's two doors down from you. I'm sure she'd want to get to know you."

Scott Summers was sitting at a picnic table across from where Jubilee and Carolyn had set up their tanning post. He was not a happy camper. Most of the X-Men knew his history. He had been raised in a church run orphanage for a lot of his childhood and had been surrounded by nuns most of his life. He was used to nuns wearing habits that covered every inch of their skin except the face, a rosary dangling from their waist. He wasn't used to a nun taking over the health and science classes from Jean and teaching sex ed to a passel of rowdy mutant teenagers. And he really wasn't used to a nun wearing a bikini and sunbathing!

It didn't bother him that his wife, who was wearing an emerald green thong with a string bra top, was wearing much less than Carolyn. She's a nun for God's sake! She's supposed to be covered head to toe in black and white. Nuns aren't supposed to be in tiny bits of electric pink fabric lying in full view of everyone. The last illusion he had of the women who raised him after his parents died was falling apart. He felt robbed.

"She will tell you that she isn't a nun anymore," Jean whispered in his ear. A shiver of desire shot down his spine. She never failed to excite him when she whispered in his ear.

"Keep doing that and I'll need a cold shower," he murmured. She gave him a throaty laugh and sat down beside him on the bench.

"She's a very effective teacher," Jean commented. "She can control the emotions in the class which helps them to concentrate on what she has to say. In sex ed, she's able to dispel the embarrassment that most of the kids feel talking about sex. She can also keep them from becoming aroused. She's the best one for the job. I know you hated it when it was your turn to teach sex ed."

"Is she teaching abstinence or birth control?"

"Both," Jean told him. "She advises them to wait until they are older to make the decision but she insists that they use protection until they are ready for the responsibility of children. She's an excellent teacher Scott. Hank tells me there have been a run on condoms and oral contraceptives since she started teaching."

"Well, there you are," he exclaimed. "She's making them curious."

"Maybe a few but not as many as you'd think. Most of the ones seeing Hank have been sexually active for a while but were too afraid to ask for something. I think her attitude is healthy."

"You know who's been having sex?" he demanded.

"Yes, and no, I won't tell you. It's not your business."

"But they're children Jean."

"They stopped being children the day their powers manifested. You know that better than anyone." She turned to look him in the eyes through the ruby quartz lenses of his glasses. "We give them the illusion of a normal adolescence but they aren't normal, and they can't ever be normal again. We teach them responsibility with their powers but we can't give them a normal life. Sexual experimentation is a part of adolescence. It may be the last normal thing they ever do."

He took a deep breath and let it out, slowly. "Maybe you're right," he conceded, "but I still don't like a nun in a pink bikini. And I definitely don't like Jubilee in that little red thing she's wearing."

She couldn't help but laugh. "A fashion maven you're not," she said as she kissed his cheek. "I'm going inside and change. Wanna watch?" she said with a gleam in her eye.

He was up and out of his seat before she could finish her question. Arm in arm, they made their way to the mansion and to their room for a pleasant afternoon of marital bliss.

"Rogue?" Carolyn said as she poked her head into the open door.

"Yes?" Rogue said. Her bags were strewn over the room in various stages of unpacking.

"I'm Carolyn Gibson," she introduced herself. "Can I help you unpack?"

"Sugah, Ah'll take any help Ah can get," Rogue told her. "Ah didn't know how much Ah had until Ah packed."

"Jubilee told me about your powers," Carolyn told her as she opened a large suitcase. "Have you made any progress in control?"

"Not yet," she said sadly. "Sometimes Ah think Ah'm bein' punished."

"Oh Rogue," Carolyn said, "You're not being punished, you're being tested."

Rogue looked at her, questions in her eyes.

"God never gives you more than you can handle," Carolyn said as she sat on the bed. "You're a strong woman, Rogue, physically and mentally. God has plans for you. He hasn't told you what they are yet but I'm willing to bet that they are huge. Maybe you aren't meant to have children but you're not unloved. God loves you, Jubilee loves you, Remy worships the ground you walk on. Don't for a moment believe that you can't be loved."

"What about sex?"

"What about it? Remy hasn't had sex with you and he still loves you. Sex is important but not the most important part of a relationship."

"But Ah want a relationship with him," she protested.

"Have you asked God?"

"Ah'm outta practice but Ah pray,"

"Maybe you need to get back in practice," Carolyn told her wryly. "I use prayer to control my powers. Without it, everyone here and in the surrounding ten miles would be feeling my every emotion. Imagine the chaos that would cause."

"Ten miles?" Rogue asked astonished.

"It was only a mile when I first got here but learning control has extended my range. Now I can't pull it in any closer when I blast. I can, however, concentrate it on one person but it still takes me a lot of mind bending to do it. I'm not ready for the field yet but I'm a whole lot better than I was before I came."

"What happened before ya got here?" She shifted a suitcase and sat down next to Carolyn.

"Oh," she moaned and covered her eyes. "It was awful. I caused two riots and an orgy in less than two weeks. When Charles and Jean showed up after the last riot, I ended up getting thrown out of the convent."

"Convent?" Rogue squeaked. "You were in a convent?"

"I was a nun," she admitted.

"And you caused an orgy?" she giggled.

"A dream," Carolyn said wryly. "Hey, I'm still a woman. Being an empath's a pain."

"Ah'm sure."

"Yeah," she laughed. "My shields have to be tighter than the Mother Superior's girdle."

Kitty heard high pitched laughter coming from Rogues room. She's back, she thought. I need to see her.

"Rogue?" she said as she poked her head into the room. Unfortunately, sitting on the bed was the woman who caused so much trouble three months ago.

"You!" Kitty hissed. "What are you doing here?"

"What is your problem Kitty?" Rogue asked. She'd never seen her like this. Kitty is usually so easy going. What did Carolyn do to make Kitty hate her?

"Ms. Pryde," Carolyn addressed the angry ninja, "I don't understand why you're still angry after three months. I hadn't learned to control my powers and I didn't target you personally. The entire mansion was affected."

"You nearly made me kill Jubilee," Kitty screamed. "Logan would have never forgiven me if I had. You're a danger to everyone, human and mutant."

"Is that what yer problem is?" Rogue demanded "Ya still want Logan?"

"He can still be mine but not if I kill his little pet."

"Kitty, Logan thinks of ya as his daughter. He can't be what ya want him to be," Rogue told her, trying to defuse the situation.

"She's right Kitten," Logan said from the door.

"Logan," Kitty gasped. "I..."

"I know what ya were tryin ta do," he said, his face closed. "I want ya ta talk ta Chuck."

Kitty stood there and looked at her feet.

"Now," he barked.

She nodded and left the room.

"I'm sorry ya got involved in this," he told Carolyn. "It's been a problem fer a while but this time, she's gone too far. I hafta do something now."

"I never wanted to come between you and Kitty, Logan."

"Nothin between Kitty and me," he grumbled. "She's got an attraction that ain't healthy. I've been hoping that if I ignored it, she'd ferget. I guess I was wrong." She could tell he was upset and started to project calm. "Stop it Carol. I taught ya that one. Right now, I don't wanna feel better." He left, leaving behind a cloud of sadness.

"What did ya do that made Logan yell at ya," Rogue asked curiously.

"You didn't feel it?" Carolyn asked in surprise.

"Ah know he was unhappy but he told ya to stop it. What were ya doin'?"

"I was projecting calm," Carolyn told her. "People feel it when I use my powers. Why didn't you?"

"Wasn't directed at me," she said with a shrug.

"My control isn't that good yet. Everyone feels it but not as much as the person I aim at." She was getting excited. "Could you be resistant to my powers?"

"Ah don't know," said Rogue. "Why don't ya try an experiment? Give me one of yer emotions but not anger. Ah have super strength."

"Okay." Carolyn reached down and pulled out happiness. Directing it as Charles and Ororo had taught her, she pushed it toward Rogue. Soon, she heard a student giggling down the hall but Rogue didn't even smile.

"What are ya sending?" she asked.

"Happiness," Carolyn told her.

Rogue shook her head. "Ah don't feel it."

She pulled the emotion back and damped it quickly. It wouldn't do to have the mansion fall apart in hysterics but she had trouble containing her excitement.

"You're resistant to my powers," Carolyn said, her eyes bright. "This is a first for me."

"You should probably talk ta Charles," Rogue told her. "He needs ta know that ya don't affect me."

"Yeah," she said "You're right. Boy, there's more to these powers than I thought." She returned to unpacking. "I better wait until he's finished with Kitty and Logan. I don't want a repeat of that."

"The life of a mutant is one of discovery," Rogue said as she pulled her clothes from a suitcase. "Ya won't reach yer full potential until yer about thirty."

"You're kidding!" Carolyn's mouth dropped open. "I'm alpha level now. You mean I could get stronger?"

"Ya could go omega or ya could have a secondary mutation or both. There's no way ta tell."

"Oh, you're full of good news," Carolyn said sourly.

They spent an hour unpacking Rogue's suitcases and sorting laundry. Carolyn's mind was troubled as they worked. Why hadn't Charles told her that she may have a power up or a secondary mutation? Why didn't he stress the importance of stronger shields? If she were to go omega, her present shields would be useless. What other secrets had he withheld? She was going to have to have a very serious talk with the good professor.


	6. Prayers and Possibilities

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter 1. Once again, I have to thank Stan the Man for the use of his creations. You're an awesome guy with a brain so creative that I want to lick your lobes.

A/N: Thanks to my reviewers and especially to dizi for her encouragement.

I guess I should do a bit of a recap. Here's what has happened so far: Carolyn Gibson is an alpha level empath and former nun who arrived at the X mansion after causing two riots and an orgy near the convent she was based at. The Mother Superior tossed her out on her ear when she confessed her involvement in the chaos around the church. Logan came home to find the mansion in the middle of an emotional meltdown that she was causing and had to contain Kitty and Jubilee before they started killing. He was able to help Carolyn contain her raw emotions and with the help of Charles and Ororo, she was able to shield and direct her powers. Kitty still holds a grudge for causing her to loose face in front of Logan. Rogue has come home and realizes that she still loves Remy but can't do anything about it because of her powers. Rogue, incidentally, isn't affected by Carolyn's powers but they aren't sure why. Scott (the prude) has problems with Carolyn acting like a normal woman and being assigned to teach sex ed. Jean is highly amused about about the whole situation.

Feedback: Boy, I love that word. Almost as much as I love getting it. Feedback is almost as good as sex and way better than chocolate. Go ahead. Make my day.

Chapter 6: Prayers and Possibilities

Kitty and Kurt left the next day. Logan had wanted to send Ororo with her since she was going to XSE and Storm is the leader of that team but Charles insisted the regal weather witch was needed to help train Carolyn. Carolyn felt very uncomfortable with that decision. Jubilee had told her that Ororo was the closest thing to a mother Kitty had left and she knew what it was like to loose a mother both to death and rejection. With Logan rejecting her advances in such a public way, Kitty needed a woman's shoulder to cry on. Kurt, being a man, would never understand. Something about the production of testosterone will forever prevent him from understanding a woman's feelings. Carolyn felt sorry for her.

She waited until after Kitty and Kurt left to talk to Charles. Before going into his office, she projected a general feeling of hope on Kitty's behalf. Charles, of course, caught her and told her she was still too heavy handed with her manipulations. He did compliment her on her choice of emotions to project but asked her not to manipulate the residents of the mansion again unless he asked her to. She quickly apologized to him and told him she would tell the others what she did after they talked.

The meeting was something of a revelation to her. He admitted to her that he knew she might continue to mutate. He wasn't sure if she would power up as she got older but he hadn't wanted to increase her anxiety. He had planned to help her build stronger shields in the next few years but she wasn't ready to as of yet. She had enough problems with the one she already had.

She learned a lot while talking to Charles. Her biggest fear was that she would begin to show a physical mutation. He dispelled that notion immediately. Mutations were physical or psionic. Most physical mutations were present at birth. Psionic mutations developed at puberty. As for power up and secondary mutations, physical mutations begat physical secondary mutations and psionic mutations begat further psionic mutations. Her chances of developing a physical mutation at nearly twenty-four was slim. A psionic mutation was different. A psionic power up, as it was called, usually occurred between twenty-five and thirty, give or take two years. If it were to happen, it would be quick, almost overnight. She was a high level alpha mutant. Any power up at all would immediately classify her as omega.

There was no guarantee that she would even have one. Scott Summers was classed at alpha as soon as his powers manifested and it never changed. Jean Summers was a special case. Her powers manifested too early and were blocked until she was older. Only one aspect of her powers were involved in her sudden increase in power and Charles didn't know if it was natural or caused by the Phoenix force. She was classified as an alpha level telepath and omega level telekinetic. Bobby Drake came to the X-Men a beta level mutant and quickly increased his power to alpha. He had recently undergone a secondary mutation and was now stuck in ice form. Kitty and Jubilee were both still classified as beta level. Kitty most likely will never reach alpha but Jubilee could be one now if she would put more effort into her training. Kurt's physical mutation was very obvious at birth but his teleportation ability wasn't manifested until he was fourteen. He was classified as beta with exceptional training.

Logan's mutation had them both thinking for a long time. He had no memories of his life as a child or teen so he didn't know how or when he had manifested. Charles informed her that his claws were actually bone underneath the adamantium. He had no idea if they were a primary or secondary mutation. They couldn't check any records because he didn't know where or when he was born and grew up. There were so few feral mutants that Charles couldn't estimate using the development of a similar mutation and Logan had such a severe paranoia of labs that he literally couldn't cooperate with any research. Logan was so unique and so tampered with that he could only be classified as omega.

She left his office feeling both better and worse. She was reassured that she probably wouldn't develop a physical mutation but dismayed that she most likely would become an omega level mutant and the target of everyone, including the Shi'ar. It didn't give her warm fuzzy feelings.

She sat in a funk at lunch, pushing her food around her plate. The sight of mystery meat made her queasy. She jumped as a tray was dropped beside her and Rogue flopped into the chair.

"What is this stuff?" the southern beauty asked as she poked the lump cautiously with her fork.

"Don't know," Carolyn said. "As you can see, I've dissected it but I still have no clue as to what it was originally. I'm not even sure it was animal."

"Anything missin' from your lab?" Rogue asked as she took a bite of her vegetables.

"Now that you mention it," she said thoughtfully, "several fetal pigs are not in their containers." She stopped, a look of horror on her face. "They wouldn't, would they?"

"Ah'm never surprised at what goes on here," remarked Rogue with a wry grin. "So, what did Charles say?"

Carolyn gave her a quick recap of her discussion with the founder of the X-Men. Rogue told her that her powers couldn't be classified because the ones she uses the most, aren't even hers. She had absorbed them from Carol Danvers many years ago. Her own powers were so dangerous to others that they had never really been tested. It never bothered her that she hadn't been classified. Danvers had been alpha level so she considered herself the same.

Carolyn told her that Charles believed that she would become omega level sometime in the future and that she really, really, really didn't want that to happen. She had enough problems. She didn't need to add to them. Rogue could sympathize with her. Omega mutants were targets for everyone from corporate America and the FOH to Apocalypse and the Shi'ar. She had no hope of avoiding their attention. The question was, who would get to her first?

"Danger Room at two," Logan interrupted with a grunt. Carolyn dropped her head on the table with a moan.

"She's had a real bad morning Logan," Rogue told him. "Can't ya cancel fer today?" He set his tray down next to Carolyn, a steak swimming in it's own juices stood out. "Hey! How come you got steak?"

"Paid fer it myself," he told her. "And no, I won't cancel. She missed yesterday, sunbathin' with Jubilee."

Carolyn's head popped up. "I missed yesterday because you had to go to the city, not because I was sunbathing," she protested.

"Ya coulda worked out on yer own instead of drivin' Cyke nuts with yer suit," he told her smugly.

"Scott didn't like my suit?" she asked. Logan shook his head as he bit into his steak. "But I was wearing more than Jean or Jubilee."

"Don't matter," he said through a mouthful of steak. "He still thinks yer a nun."

She sighed in disgust. No matter how many times she talked to him, the leader of the X-Men never accepted that she wasn't in the convent any more. She was getting a little annoyed with him and was learning just how conservative he was. She could see why Logan had trouble at times dealing with him. Scott Summers had a stick up his butt.

"What is this?" Rogue demanded as she shoved her plate under his nose.

"Pork," he answered.

"Eeew," Carolyn said, wrinkling her nose in distaste.

"I ain't hungry no more," Rogue gulped.

They dumped their trays and left a confused Wolverine to his lunch.

Her afternoon went about as well as she expected. She spent a glorious hour getting her ass kicked around the Danger Room by Logan. She did better this time. It was eight seconds before her butt hit the floor for the first time. She had to admit, she was learning something from him. She was learning to fall without breaking any bones.

After getting her bumps and bruises treated in the med lab, she went and taught her advanced biology class. Her fetal pig specimens mysteriously reappeared by the end of class. She had several suspects who could have been responsible for their movements around the mansion but she couldn't pin the deed on any one person and no one was confessing. She let it slide this time but informed the class that if anything else decided to take a constitutional around the mansion, the entire class would have a weeks detention in the oh so gentle care of Wolverine. From the moans and groans that flitted through the room, she didn't have to worry about her specimens anymore.

Dinner was chicken this time. Since she didn't have any poultry specimens, she had no problems eating. It was at dinner that she realized that her prayer partner was gone. She preferred to pray the rosary with the company of others. She looked around the dinning room, trying to find someone who would join her. She knew Remy was Catholic but he was still avoiding her. Logan wasn't Christian so he was out unless she wanted to attempt to convert him. It would be easier to get Remy to join her. The solution came to her when Rogue passed her on her way out of the room.

"Rogue, she called as she ran to catch up. "I need a favor."

"Whatcha need Sugah," she asked.

"With Kurt gone, I don't have a partner in the Rosary. I was wondering..."

"I'd love ta join ya," Rogue interrupted. "I don't know how ta do it so you'll hafta teach me."

"Thanks Rogue," she breathed. "Eight o'clock in my room. I have everything you'll need, just bring yourself."

"The Rosary allows us to contemplate the mysteries of our salvation by Jesus Christ," Carolyn explained that night. "There are four groups of mysteries, Joyful, Luminous, Sorrowful and Glorious. Each group has five mysteries. They are prayed every day in succession. The Virgin Mother has promised that those who pray the Rosary faithfully will have their prayers answered."

"Has that ever happened?" Rogue asked.

"Many times," she replied. "I, myself requested guidance from her before I took my final vows. Her answer was for me to devote my life to Christ."

"Will my prayers be answered?"

"Of course," Carolyn reassured her. "It may not be immediately or even the reply you were hoping for but God will answer you."

"Ah'll try anything!" Rogue told her.

"The Rosary shouldn't be prayed in desperation," Carolyn cautioned. "It should be done in devotion."

"Ah can't promise devotion but Ah'm willin' ta learn."

"That's all I ask," she said. "Now, the prayers follow a set pattern. I've written them down for you so you can follow along. It all starts with the sign of the cross and a silent prayer to God with your request."

She handed Rogue a green beaded Rosary and the women knelt beside the bed. Neither spoke as Logan enter the room. They were silent for a moment before she began to speak, Rogue joining in after the first sentence.

"I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of Heaven and Earth, of all that is seen and unseen. I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only son of God, eternally begotten of the Father. God from God, light from light, true God from true God. Begotten, not made. one in being with the Father. Through Him, all things were made. For our sins and for our salvation, He came down from Heaven. By the power of the Holy Spirit, He was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man. For our sake, he was crucified under Pontius Pilot. He suffered, died and was buried. On the third day, He rose again, in fulfillment of the Scriptures. He ascended into Heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead and His kingdom will have no end. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the Giver of Life who proceeds from the Father and the Son. With the Father and the Son, He is worshiped and glorified. He has spoken through the prophets. I believe in one Holy, Catholic and Apostolic church. I acknowledge one Baptism for the forgiveness of sins. I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the would to come. Amen. (1)

They began the circle of prayers that made up the Rosary. Logan watched, fascinated. The further along they went, the less tension he could smell in the room. He wouldn't have believed it if he hadn't smelled it for himself. At the end of the prayers, Rogue was more relaxed than he had ever seen her. Maybe Carolyn had something there.

"You're welcome to join us tomorrow, Logan," Carolyn said without turning. She had been aware of him when he entered the room. When she prayed, her senses extended out and she could feel the presence of everyone in the hallway.

"I'm not ready fer that darlin'," he said uncomfortably.

"When you're ready, let me know. I have tons of Rosary's."

"Ah feel great," Rogue remarked. "Even if Ah don't get my way, this is a great way ta calm down. Ah'll see ya tomorrow Carolyn."

"Does she really belief that this'll control her powers?" he asked after Rogue left the room.

"Nothing else has worked," she said as she put away her Rosary. "I don't know if God will grant her prayer but it can't hurt to ask."

They spent an hour discussing theology. Logan took his beliefs from many religions, most predominantly, Shinto. Carolyn had to admit that she wasn't familiar with the religious beliefs of the Asian part of the world. Logan was happy to enlighten her. Reincarnation played a big roll in some of them. Some of his beliefs meshed well with her own. Some of them were so alien that she had difficulty relating to them.

"What's the difference in praying ta yer ancestors and praying ta saints," he demanded.

"A saint has been proven to bring miracles," she told him. "We don't pray to the saint anyway. We pray to God using the saint as an intermediary. We never pray directly to the saint."

"What about the 'Hail Mary'?"

"In the 'Hail Mary', we praise her as the mother of Jesus and ask that she pray for us. We don't worship her."

"That ain't the way it sounds," he said stubbornly.

"The beginning of the prayer is a passage from the Bible. It's Elizabeth's greetingto her cousin when Mary came to visit during her pregnancy with John the Baptist. The rest was added later as an acknowledgment that we are all sinners and need her to intercede with God on our behalf."

He was silent for a while, thinking. "Ya got a lotta faith," he finally said.

"I wouldn't have entered the convent if my faith was weak," she smiled. She glanced at her watch. "It's late," she told him. "I need to get some sleep if I'm going to take you on tomorrow."

"I had a good time," he said surprised. "Not many people have the nerve ta argue with me. Yer a hell of a woman Carolyn Gibson."

"Why thank-you Logan," she said. "I can say the same to you." Her lips curled into a saucy smile. He couldn't help himself. He leaned over and kissed her.

His lips were warm and sweet on hers. The kiss quickly deepened and became passionate, his tongue sweeping her mouth, hot and demanding. She returned it with all the enthusiasm a virgin can muster. He tore his mouth from hers, gasping. Shock and fear shot through her as she became aware of what she was doing. She pulled away from him trembling with arousal.

"I'm sorry," he apologized quickly.

"It's wrong," she said, scandalized at what she did. "Please leave Logan."

He nodded and turned to leave. He stopped at the door and turned, wanting to apologize again. He watched as she fell to her knees, praying for forgiveness for the sin of lust.

He shook his head and left, closing the door behind him. "Celibacy just ain't natural," he mumbled and took himself off to his solitary bed still aching with desire. It took both of them a long time to fall asleep.

A/N 2: Anyone who prays the Rosary knows the peace and tranquility it brings to your soul. And yes, it does work.

(1)This prayer is known as the Apostles Creed and is said at the beginning of every Rosary.


	7. I'm What?

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: Yeah, sure, I own 'em. Gimme all your money. Sheesh. If I owned the X-Men, ya think I'd be writing fanfics? Get real. Although I must say, if I did own 'em, I'd treat 'em better than Marvel has. I'd let Jean get pregnant, Scott buy a sense of humor, Jubilee grow up, Rogue control her powers and get laid and Logan have a woman for longer than five issues.

A/N: As you read in the last chapter, Logan has the hots for our virginal ex nun. I said this wasn't a romance and it isn't. You have so many people living in such close quarters, you're bound to have some hankie-pankie going on. Let's see how Logan handles his attraction to a woman who is committed to celibacy.

Special A/N: A million thanks to dizi for letting me borrow her OC, Jenny. You're the best Deana.

Feedback: I love my reviewers. Everyone who reviews gets my undying appreciation. Everyone who flames gets twenty lashes with a wet noodle and gets gossiped about in the writers chat room.

Chapter 7: I'm What?

Carolyn continued to train with Logan but she no longer felt completely comfortable alone with him. After two days of smoldering looks, 'accidental' strokes with a firm hand and whispered suggestions, she'd had enough. She begged and pleaded and finally got Jubilee to join them for their sparing sessions. She knew she was being a coward by not talking to him but she was afraid to loose his friendship.

She had tried to tell him that no matter what her body said, her principles weren't interested in a sexual relationship with him. She prayed every night that someone else would come to the mansion and take the heat off her. Unfortunately, there seemed to be a lull in the manifestation of beautiful female mutants of a level high enough to draw the attention of the X-Men. So she spent her days fending off his advances and her nights having vivid erotic dreams about him. At least she hadn't yet broadcasted her dreaming emotions to the rest of the mansion. That would have been too much for her to handle.

She and Rogue continued to pray the Rosary every night in her room. Logan would often slip in after they had begun simply to watch. He never attempted to interrupt or join them. After a week, she began to feel comfortable with him watching.

Rogue started to ask questions about the church. Carolyn answered them as truthfully and simply as she could. She was very careful not to lie or to preach to her. She wanted Rogue to decide for herself how she felt. She didn't need to worry about influencing the pretty belles emotions. Charles and Hank had confirmed that Rogue was completely unaffected by her powers. She was extremely careful not to touch her. She didn't want Rogue's decisions affected by her own devotion to God. Rogue needed to develop her own relationship with the church.

Six weeks after the unexpected kiss, Logan suddenly changed his tactics. He stopped trying to lure her into his bed or trying to sneak into hers and started to woo her. He brought flowers to her classroom one afternoon which got the kids talking. The talk eventually made it's way to the teachers. Scott scowled every time he saw her. Jean found the whole situation funny and watched them closely. Rogue was pleased that she had another woman to tell her about their love lives. Jubilee, who'd been nursing a crush on Logan for years, wasn't sure what she thought about it. She liked Carolyn and didn't want to hurt her but she couldn't help but feel jealous of his attention to her science and sex ed teacher. The first time he asked her out on a date, she was so surprised that she said no. The disappointment on his face made her feel so guilty that she was the one who asked him out twenty-four hours later. He had an odd look on his face when she asked him but he said yes.

She took him to a small steak house in town that Jubilee had recommended. The night was a total disaster. The food wasn't nearly as good as Jubes had promised and the waitress kept coming on to Logan, virtually ignoring Carolyn in the process. After sending her overcooked steak back twice, she finally decided to stick to salad. Oddly enough, Logan's meal was perfectly cooked and he had said that it was delicious. When the waitress brought the check, she placed it near Logan. After a brief but fierce struggle, she wrestled the check away from him and paid the bill, omitting a tip. If she hadn't been so upset about the poor quality of the service, she might have laughed at the look on the woman's face when she saw who paid for the meals.

She stomped out of the restaurant nearly in tears. This had been her first date ever and everything had gone wrong. The food was awful and the service deplorable. Logan must think she's incredibly stupid for choosing to bring him here. When she found that the car had been stolen while they had been eating that miserable excuse for a meal, she totally lost it and began to sob in misery.

He watched her as she leaned against the side of the restaurant, tears streaming down her face, her breath coming in great hic-cupping sobs and his heart went out to her. She had tried so hard to make this night special but still comfortable for both of them but everything conspired against her. She didn't deserve to have to eat bad food and deal with a rude waitress. And she really didn't deserve to have her ride stolen while she was being tortured by the restaurant.

He pulled her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder. He finally realized how stressed she was. She was projecting sadness to such a degree that passers by were bursting into tears. He had to get her calmed down or people would begin to notice.

"Darlin', yer leakin'," he whispered.

"I don't care," she wailed into his shoulder. "I'm never doing this again."

"Aw, don't stop dating just 'cause ya had a lousy first date," he advised gently. "Think of it like this. Ya already had the date from hell, it can only get better."

She gave him a small, watery giggle and began to relax in his arms.

"Logan?" she said in a small voice.

"Yeah darlin'?" He ran his hands soothingly up and down her back.

"I like being with you."

"I like bein' with you too."

"But..."

"Uh oh."

"You're a good friend and teacher but I don't love you. I don't think I'll ever love you."

"Ya know," he said lightly. "There's somthin' about an inexperienced woman that makes men do dumb things. Like pushin' her inta somethin' she ain't ready fer," he rested his chin on her head. "I'm sorry Carol. I want ya fer a friend. I won't do anything ta make ya hate me," He kissed her cheek. "Or yerself."

She lifted her face and studied him. Her eyes were red from crying but dry. She had regained control of her emotions.

"You're a good man Logan," she whispered. "Someday, you'll find a woman who can be everything you want and need. On that day, I'll rejoice with you. Until then, I'm proud to be your friend."

"What did I ever do ta deserve a friend like you?" he asked, smiling.

"I don't know," she giggled. "Maybe you were good in a former life."

"I certainly ain't in this one," he laughed. "C'mon. Let's get ya somthin' ta eat. Harry's has the best ribs in town and the head waitress'll treat ya right."

"What about the car?" she asked.

"It's Lojacked," he told her. "I'll tap inta the satellite and find it. Don't worry. I'll get it back."

"Before it's parted out?"

"A 2004 BMW? They won't chop it. It's worth more whole."

Harry's was eight blocks from the steak house and by the time they arrived, Carolyn was starved. The air around the bar smelled heavenly to her and her stomach gave a mighty rumble as they entered. Logan snickered at the obvious signs of her hunger. His usual table in the back of the room was occupied. He was a little pissed until he saw Remy and Rogue seated there.

"Carolyn!" Rogue called as they made their was across the crowded floor. Carolyn waved enthusiastically, excited to see her friend on a night when everything went wrong. She began to feel better about the outcome until she saw Remy sharing Rogues table. Logan propelled her forward with a well placed hand, refusing to let her go anywhere else except his selected table. He was going to end the tension between Remy and Carolyn tonight if he had to sit on Carolyn and beat some sense into the Cajun.

"Sit," he ordered. She sat, resigned to another uncomfortable meal. "Ribs?" he asked.

"That's fine," she answered.

"Any withies?" She shook her head.

He left her to squirm in her seat and attempt to ignore Remy's glare.

"Jenny!" he yelled as he pushed his way through the crowd to the bar.

"Saw you come in," she said, dropping a beer in front of him. "Your date?" she asked, pointing her chin at Carolyn.

"Yeah," he replied. "Didn't go so good."

"She doesn't seem your type," remarked Jenny as she studied the brunette empath.

"Oh?"

"She looks a little.."

"Young?"

"Naive," she corrected. "The girls you usually bring in tend to be... broken in. She looks like she hasn't seen much of the world outside of the mansion."

"Well, she's been very protected most of her life," he admitted. "I guess she's a little naive."

"Don't you go corrupting her," Jenny ordered.

"Very funny," he scowled. "Just bring us a plate of ribs."

"Anything to drink?"

"Coupla beers."

"Can I get your date anything to drink?"

"Wise ass," he grumbled, his eyes sparkling. "Get her a Coke." He loved to spar with her. She always kept him on his toes and usually won their verbal battles.

When he returned to the table, he found Rogue and Remy gone. Damn that Cajun, he thought. He was going to have to try again.

Carolyn found the food at Harry's very good and liked Jenny immediately. She had a sharp wit and the education to back it. Listening to her and Logan argue about which bar-ba-que was better, St Louis or Texas left her giggling. It was a battle of wits and Logan was poorly armed. She knew by his behavior that Logan liked Jenny. He was very careful not to hurt her feelings. He finally gave up, laughing.

"Carol, if ya have any problems on this side of town, come here. Jenny'll make sure ya get home. She's good people."

"Wow!" Carolyn laughed. "That's very high praise coming from you."

"It was nice to meet you Carolyn," Jenny said. "Let me know if you need anything else."

Carolyn studied his eyes after Jenny left the table. "You care for her," she remarked.

"How'd ya figure that?" he asked, taking a large drink from his beer.

"Well, the first clue was that you didn't kill her when she insulted you," she smiled.

"Yeah, Jenny's great," he said, running a finger around the lip of his glass. "The first time I saw her she clobbered me with a tray. She's been keepin' me in line ever since." He drained his beer and started on the second.

"She knows who and what we are," he told her quietly. "It doesn't bother her. We need more people like her in the world."

They spent the rest of the evening discussing the state of human and mutant relations. They both wished there was more acceptance of mutants. Carolyn had said that if they couldn't get acceptance, tolerance would be a nice change.

Jenny called the mansion after Logan explained about the car and got them a ride home. Jean picked them up in her BMW and noticed the difference in Carolyn's demeanor right away. She sighed in resignation. She had hoped Carolyn's personality would calm the wild side of Logan.

'Oh well', she thought. 'If it's not there, it's not there.'

Carolyn's days became more predictable after she had her talk with Logan. She was up at six every day to meet him in the gardens for the Kata then they went to breakfast together. After an hour of discussing philosophy or theology in between bites, she went on to work with Storm for two hours.

She had initially found Ororo's personality cold and unfeeling but as she got to know her, she found that Storm cared very deeply for her teammates, past and present. Because of what she was and the depth of her powers, it was necessary for her to keep a rigid control over all of her emotions. She related a number of stories of what happened when her control slipped. The worst of them was when her relationship with Forge fell apart. She was so angry at him that there were thunderstorms over the mansion for three days. Charles finally had to shut her down and do some mental manipulations to stop the flooding. Ororo just didn't have the luxury of a good cry.

Carolyn had been able to build stronger shields and was able to indulge in some of her emotions but not to the extent she had before coming to Westchester. All of her teachers agreed that there were four emotions she must never give in to: fear, anger, despair and hate. If she were to project positive emotions, that could be dealt with. The negative emotions would be disastrous.

Charles had hoped that with training, she would be able to feel the emotions of others but that was not to be. She could feel the presence of other people around her but she couldn't read their emotions. She was definitely a one way empath. They began to train her to read body language and facial expressions. She practiced on the residents of the mansion. She got to be very good at reading the emotions of the X-Men.

The students were in awe of her. She was able to tell when they were up to something long before their plans were finalized. They had become used to avoiding Wolverine when they were planning a joke. He could always sniff them out and stop them before they got into any mischief. Carolyn was able to find out even as the plan blossomed in the mind of the perp. They were beginning to suspect she was telepathic.

Twice a week, Logan took her into the city and parked her on a street corner with instruction to read the body language and facial expressions of strangers. She would read them, then Logan would give them a sniff and tell her if she was right. At first, she was disappointed to find out that she was only right ten percent of the time. She gradually got better at it and after six months, she was right eighty percent of the time.

She had been at the mansion for nearly a year when she went on her first mission. It was more of a test than a mission. She was to infiltrate a gathering of the FOH and make them disband. It wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. The speaker was incredibly boring so she pushed her boredom out and amplified it. After fifteen minutes, most of the audience was asleep and the others were sitting there, glassy eyed and drooling, including the speaker.

"I may have overdone it," she told Scott when she snuck out of the meeting.

"What did you give them?" he asked.

"Boredom," she told him as they made their way back to the jet. "It wasn't that hard. The speaker was dreadful."

"Whatever works," Logan remarked as they buckled in, preparing for takeoff.

"I want Beast to run another rating test on you," Scott told her as he piloted the Blackbird home. "It should have taken you longer. You may have had a power up."

Her fists clenched the armrests as color drained from her face. Logan quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Whatever happened, happened," he said to her in a low voice. "Ya can't change it."

"I hate this," she told Logan as they waited in the Danger Room the next morning. Hank, Charles and Scott were in the control room uploading the test and comparing it to her last rating test. Jean had been the guinea pig for her last one. This time, she aimed at Logan. Both had formidable shields. She couldn't remember how long Jean had resisted when she took the last test but this time but she had Logan on the floor, squealing in laughter at forty eight seconds.

"It's better that ya know," he said.

"It's not that," she told him. "I feel like a dweeb just standing here doing nothing. I'm used to coming in here and having my ass handed to me on a daily basis. This just feels wrong."

"Yer not doin' too bad darlin'. Yer able ta avoid me fer over a minute now. Yer gettin' much faster."

"That's because I don't want to hit you and break a fist on your bones."

"After we get the poop from the test, I'm gonna start trainin' ya ta use yer powers in a fight. Ya need ta know what ta use and how much ta stop an opponent."

"Carolyn, Logan, please come up to the control room," Charles asked via the intercom.

"'Bout damn time," Logan mumbled.

"This is the tracing from the test you have just completed," Hank was telling her, his finger pointing to a long column of numbers. "As you can see from the psionic power figures, you have been able to refine your control and deliver a fine thread of emotions to a selected target and only that target. These are the numbers," he traced another column of numbers, "from the last test. You had been emitting a secondary wave, an echo wave, that tended to become scattered in every direction. Your target would be greatly affected, usually to the point of incapacitation. The echo wave, however, had not been strong enough to adversely affect others around you except to confuse them."

"That's good, right?" she asked.

"Not necessarily," Charles answered.

"You are only able to target one person at a time," Beast explained. "If you are surrounded by six opponents, you can take out only one. The other five are still coming after you. It takes you too long to shift your focus from one mind to another putting you at a disadvantage. That's the bad news. The good news is that you no longer emit the echo wave and the thread of power is very fine indeed. The total power output at the peek is higher and the emotion is true. Your own emotions are no longer being transmitted in the thread."

"And that means what?" she asked, dreading the answer.

"This was not a power up," he told her. "You are now a low level omega but that is only because of your control over your powers. From the fact that your use of your powers does not adversely affect you in a physical manner and the genetic markers in your DNA, I can tell you that you will have a power up with in the next three to five years. It will most likely be a increase of your own powers and not a sudden appearance of a new power. When that happens Carolyn, I will no longer be able to read your powers. This equipment is not able to record psionic power at the level you will have."

"How will I know?" she asked.

"You will feel ill for several hours before it occurs," Hank said. "It may begin with fever or nausea. If you suffer any unusual symptoms, you must find me immediately. A power up can be fatal."

"What if it happens while I'm asleep?"

"Cerebra is calibrated to look for omega mutants," Charles said. "It will sound an alarm as soon as it detects the power surge."

"I know you do not want this," Hank said sympathetically. "But there is no way to stop it. Your potential was set in your genes the day you were conceived."

She stared at her feet, unable to deal with the looks of pity they were giving her still form.

"I'm sorry Carolyn," Charles said. "I wish we had better news."

"Who else has the ability to detect omega mutants?" she asked.

"Magneto, Sinister, the Hellfire Clubs," Logan told her. "Those are the ones we know about. There may be more."

"Am I still below their detection levels?"

"Sinister and Hellfire almost certainly already know about you," Charles told her. "Magnus has not been recruiting lately but you may be a prize he can't resist."

"And so it begins," she whispered.

For the first time, Logan couldn't tell what she was feeling. She had such a tight hold on her emotions that he couldn't smell them. In one way, that was good. She wasn't affecting them with her turbulent emotions. In another way, it was very bad. There was no way for him to anticipate how she will react.

Her head came up and she looked at him, her eyes lifeless. "Logan, I need some time alone. I'll work harder tomorrow but I need to be alone today."

"Don't worry about it darlin'," he told her. "Do what ya need ta do ta get yer balance back."

She nodded and left the control room.

"What is her frame of mind?" Hank asked him.

"No idea," Logan replied. "I can't smell anything from her."

"I'm not sure if that's good or bad," Charles remarked, his expression worried.


	8. Confrontation and Confession

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter 1. I'm tired of writing them. Thanks Stan.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers and a special thanks to dizi for her help with this story.

Feedback: Love it. Crave it. Will write for kudos.

Chapter 8: Confrontation and Confession

Carolyn remained secluded in her room for the rest of the day. She refused to come to the door for anyone. She didn't eat and Jean reported that she didn't sleep. Logan and Rogue were becoming concerned about her state of mind. Charles and Jean attempted to read her emotions using Cerebra but they were unable to get past her shields. This bothered them more than they would ever admit. Using Cerebra, they were able to read anyone, anywhere, except Carolyn. Charles had never felt such tight emotional control before and he knew that it wasn't healthy.

The next morning, she returned to her schedule of training and teaching, but with a difference. She no longer joked with Logan or her class. She became withdrawn and humorless, a pale shadow of herself. Her students didn't like this woman. Neither did Logan.

He put up with it for a week before confronting her in the Danger Room about the cold shoulder treatment she was giving them.

"I can't let my emotions rule anymore," she informed him during a break in training. "My ability to project emotions has made me a target for every megalomaniac crackpot out there."

"That doesn't mean ya need ta hold in yer emotions," he argued. "It ain't healthy ta be so cold ta yer friends."

"I can't afford to have friends anymore," Carolyn told him, her voice flat.

"Bull shit," he exploded. "Ya ain't getting' rid of me so easy. The others'll say the same thing. Ya ain't gonna push yer friends away just 'cause yer scared."

"I'm not afraid, Logan."

"I wouldn't know," he growled. "Ya have yer feelings so locked down that I can't even smell 'em. It ain't healthy ta lock yerself up like that. Yer human. Ya got feelings. Holding 'em in like that is gonna kill ya."

"I'm going to die anyway," she told him. "I'd rather it be on my own terms. No fear. No anger. No hate. I need to be clear headed so the X-Men can find me and kill me."

"I ain't gonna let that happen," he said angrily, shaking her so hard that her head snapped back.

"You can't stop it," she said.

"I'll protect ya," he said, still angry.

"You can't be with me twenty-four, seven. It's going to happen, Logan. It's just a matter of time. God and Charles have given me strong shields so I can't be manipulated telepathically but what if Sinister gets me? What do you think he will do with my DNA? What if he forces me to have a child for him? Can you imagine his choice of sire? I can't allow myself to be used like that.

"My faith in God is strong but I know a child or clone of mine raised away from the church and in the hands of an enemy would be impossible to defeat."

"Ya been thinkin' 'bout this fer a while," he remarked, his anger draining from him.

"Ever since Charles told me the possibilities," she admitted.

He blew his breath out sharply, knowing he lost the argument. "Whataya want me ta do?"

"If it's apparent I'm going to fall into enemy hands, I want you to kill me." She was beginning to show some emotion. He could smell her conviction and sadness.

"Why me?"

"You're the only one I can count on to go through with it. The others will let me go in the hope they can rescue me later. They mean well but are misguided. You know what they'll do to me and you won't let it happen. You won't let my DNA fall into enemy hands."

He looked at his feet. He hated that she was right; they couldn't risk having her DNA falling into the hands of their enemies. It would be a disaster of global proportions.

"I'll do it," he agreed, "but only if ya talk ta Chuck and Cyke about it first."

"I will," she said then gave him the first smile in over a week. It was a sad smile, as if she were resigned to her fate. "I knew I could count on you."

"How'd ya figure that?"

"You try to hide it but you're a smart man," she told him.

"Ya tell anyone, ya die a slow and painful death," he laughed. "It's good ta see ya givin' yer feelin's some slack. I didn't like the woman ya became after the test."

"I know you didn't," she said, "but that is how I'll be on missions. I can't afford to loose concentration in the field."

"Long as it's only in the field, I'm okay with it," Logan said. "But if it starts happenin' at home, I'll turn ya over ta Cyke fer one 'o his 'talks'."

"Ouch," her mouth twisted in chagrin.

"Back ta work," he announced.

"I have one more thing I need you do take care of," she stopped him.

"What's that?"

"I need you to make sure my body is cremated immediately," she told him. "I hate to get her involved but Jubilee is the only one who has the powers to do it without having to get a crematorium involved. She can destroy my body on a sub-atomic level. You may have to make her angry to pull enough power from her but she has it in her to do the job.

"You will need to make sure Hank destroys all of my tissue and blood samples. I know he'd like to keep them and do more experiments on them but it's like having the Hope Diamond in your sock drawer. It's too big a temptation to many people."

"Blue can keep track of them," he argued.

"Logan, the only way to be absolutely sure is to burn them, my brushes and combs included.," she reached up and stroked his cheek. "Please do this for me. As a friend?"

"Alright," he sighed.

She smiled a real smile. The first one in almost two weeks. Then she dropped suddenly into a crouch and swung her leg around, taking his feet out from under him. He landed on the Danger Room floor with a thud, looking up at her in astonishment.

"You let your guard down," she beamed triumphantly.

She didn't sit on her laurels. She sat on the Danger Room floor in pain several times but definitely not on her laurels. It hurt for her too much to sit anyway. She taught her class standing up.

The next morning, Logan, Ororo and Jean began to teach her to multi task her powers, attacking more than one person at a time. Attacking two or even three people with the same emotion wasn't too bad as long as they didn't move. She had trouble maintaining her lock on the minds she needed to track. She was also having trouble maintaining her power levels on all three threads. Logan proved that when he broke free from the sadness she was projecting and slammed her to the floor.

"Did you feel Logan break free?" Ororo asked.

"I guess so," she replied. "I almost felt like a pinch in my head."

"Remember that feeling," Jean told her. "That's the feeling of someone breaking a telepathic thread. You will eventually learn how to tell who broke it. If it's broken by someone other than your target, it feels different."

"Different how?" she asked.

"I can't explain it," Jean said. "What I feel won't be what you'll feel. I'm also not an empath. I'm not sure if an empath will know where the outside break comes from but I'm sure you'll know it's from outside. I'm always aware of who broke the thread and where they are because of my awareness of other people's minds. You don't have that advantage."

It took her three months of hard training to learn to split her empathic thread and still keep the power level high enough to incapacitate her opponents. When she was able to keep the three of them down for two minutes, Jubilee, Bobby and Scott joined the training. They were added one at a time to teach her fine control without overtaxing her shields. At six months, she was able to take out the entire team, except Rogue. She would hold them long enough to deliver each of them a blow that knocked them unconscious, but not Logan. She didn't care to break a hand or foot on his adamantium skeleton so she would place her foot on his throat and put enough pressure to make it clear to him that she would crush his throat if he moved. Then she would release them.

Logan became accustom to finding himself on the floor with Carolyn's foot pressing heavily on his throat. It happened so often that he complained that if she was going to do that, she could at least wear a skirt so he'd have something to look at while he was down there. She never took offense at his innuendos. He was just being Logan and she wouldn't have him any other way.

She had been at the mansion for just over two years when Rogue asked her about going to Mass. Carolyn hadn't been to church since Mother Superior threw her out of the only home she had since she was eight. She hadn't been able to find a church in Salem Center that was tolerant of mutants. She asked the other residents if they knew where they could go and it was Logan who gave her the best advice.

"Call Elf," he told her around a huge cigar. "He's Catholic and I know he's gone ta Mass here."

Kurt had called many times since he left and went to XSE but she had never thought to ask him where he went while he was here. She knew XSE frequently made trips to Europe on missions and Kurt was able to slip into a Mass in the church he had been baptized in but she didn't know where he went now.

"There's a small parish in Rye that has accepted mutants," he told her on the phone that afternoon. "The pastor, Father Kevin Ryan, is a mutant himself but hasn't told the congregation or his Bishop. He will hear your confession and give you communion."

"Has he seen you without your image inducer?" she asked.

"I cannot go to Mass without it but he has seen me in my own skin and is not afraid. I will call him and ask him to call you."

Fr. Ryan called the next morning. The conversation was stilted, both conscious that his phone lines could be tapped. They made arrangements to meet at the church at the end of the week.

Carolyn never learned to drive in the convent and when she came to the mansion, Charles didn't want her to drive until her powers were completely controlled. By the time she was able to control them, she had lost interest in learning. It was a good thing she didn't learn to drive. Scott had tried to teach her to fly the Blackbird but failed miserably. She had some sort of mind block when it came to complex machinery and nearly crashed them twice before he made her go back to the simulator. She didn't do any better in there. She now holds the record for failed simulated flights and it was unlikely to be broken anytime soon. Rogue decided to drive her to the church.

Logan hit the roof when he found out about their plans. He hadn't told her that the Hellfire Club had made two attempts to grab her, the last one only two weeks ago. Charles had asked him not to tell Carolyn but upgrade the security systems in and around the mansion. He wasn't happy. He felt she should be told so she would keep her guard up. Charles argued that she would return to the humorless woman she became after her rating test. Logan reluctantly agreed not to say anything unless he had to.

With her demands to go to church, he had to tell her. She took the news with a shrug saying she figured they had started. Charles may be a powerful telepath but he couldn't lie for beans. His face gave him away every time.

"Now that the attacks have started, Logan, you have to stay near me. You made me a promise," she reminded him.

And that's how he and Remy ended up spending a perfectly good Friday in church.

Fr. Ryan was a rotund man in his late fifty's with a full beard and a bald head. He had a lilting Irish brogue that Carolyn found charming. Rogue liked him. Logan was watching him for clues that he would attack. Remy found that he felt more uncomfortable with Fr. Ryan than he did with Carolyn.

"Kurt told me you wished to come to Mass," Fr. Ryan said to her. "You haven't been able to find a church in Salem Center that meets your needs."

They were sitting in the back of the empty sanctuary, talking. The church was beautiful. Built in the 18th century out of native stone, it had stained glass windows high on the walls, letting in dappled sunlight. The light reflected off the water in the baptismal font, throwing glittering rainbows across the high ceilings The pews were hard wood, dark with age and use. Logan could still smell the pitch used in the torches that lit the church before electricity was installed. The scent of expensive Frankincense and beeswax hung heavily in the air. He wrinkled his nose at the cloying scent.

"You might be more comfortable outside Logan," Carolyn told him. "We are just past Easter and the incense burned during the Triduum, the three days before Easter, can be overpowering. I don't smell it now but I'm sure you can."

"I'll live," he growled. He wasn't about to let her out of his sight.

"Remy'll go," Gambit jumped from his seat and tried to leave.

"Siddown, Gumbo," Logan barked. "Ya got some place more private Father. Too many doors here."

"Of course," he said and he led them to a small house behind the church.

"This is what we use as the rectory," he told them. "The parish is too poor to afford a full time housekeeper for me so one of the parish wives comes in once a week to clean. Now," he said a he lowered himself into a large, overstuffed chair, "what can I do for you?"

"Carolyn and I have been praying every night," Rogue spoke up first. "I've been curious 'bout why ya do what you do. I have faith in God and the prayers are comforting but why do ya say them? Why do ya baptize babies? How do ya take adults inta the church?"

"Essentially 'why do we do the things we do?'" he paraphrased.

"Yeah."

"We have a two thousand year history," he told her. "The answered to your questions are long and very involved. Let me ask you one. Have you been baptized?"

"My parents were Baptists," she said. "They threw me out when my powers manifested and I hadn't been baptized yet."

"So your soul still hold the Original sin," he remarked. "Christ has said that you cannot enter His Kingdom if your soul has the stain of sin on it. Baptism removes that sin. There is no other way to remove it."

"What sin is that?" Logan asked.

"Adam and Eve's sin against God in the Garden of Eden. You aren't Christian," Fr Ryan remarked.

"How'd ya guess?"

"Christians know the Original sin. Mankind has been paying for it forever. Baptism frees us from that sin. And you Carolyn," he turned to her. "What do you want from me?"

"Reconciliation and Eucharist," she told him.

"The official view of the Church is that mutants can't receive the sacraments. I am of the opinion that all Catholics in good standing have the right to receive any sacrament they are ready for."

"Thank you Father," she smiled.

"And you Remy," he turned to the nervous Cajun. "What can I do for you?"

"Gambit don' need nothin'," he said, a sour look on his face. "Gambit here ta watch over the femmes."

Fr. Ryan cocked his head and looked into Remy's red on black eyes. Gambit quickly looked away.

"Walk with me," Ryan ordered.

"But.."

"Go with him Gumbo, I'll watch the ladies."

Remy sighed in defeat and followed the black suited figure out the door.

"You were brought up Catholic weren't you?" Fr. Ryan asked.

"Oui," Remy said, his head bowed.

"Why do I make you so uncomfortable?

"Remy hasn't been ta church for a long time. Too many sins ta confess. Done too many things for God to forgive."

"We're all sinners Remy. As long as we're sorry for what we've done, God will take us back."

"Remy not sorry for what he did. I did what I had to do to survive and I'd do 'em again."

"All of them?"

"I've killed, Pere. I didn' wan' to, but I did. I was a t'ief. I lie n' cheat. I lust after many women but love one I can' touch. The only t'ing I regret is the killin'. The rest is part of who I am. I loss' myself long time ago. I can' be saved now."

"The Jews thought the same of Simon Peter. He became the Father of our church. No one is irredeemable."

"Mebe I am," he whispered. He turned and walked back toward the house.

"Is that why you won't look at Carolyn? Does her salvation make you uncomfortable?"

Remy froze in his tracks. Slowly, he turned back to him.

"She was t'rown outta her convent," Remy said. "A nun told ta leave by her convent is bad news. How bad was her sin that the other sisters wanted her out? Bad enough ta draw the devil? Bad enough ta damn us jus' by bein' wit her? How bad is bad?"

"Would you feel better after she does her penance and is absolved?"

"I dunno," he said truthfully.

"Have you talked to her?" Remy shook his head. "How can you live in the same house with her and not speak to her?" Kevin shook his head in disgust. "Talk to her. She may give you the truth. If she was a nun, she probably will."

"I'll t'ink about it," Remy promised.

They returned to the house and for the first time, Remy looked Carolyn in the eyes. His expression was flat, not giving anything away but Logan's training helped her to see that he was willing to give her a chance. The ice was beginning to thaw.

Against Logan's wishes, Fr. Ryan took Carolyn to a small spare room to hear her confession.

"Go outside Logan," she told him. "Confession is private and your ears are too sharp. Remy and Rogue will keep me safe."

He did what she asked but he didn't like it. He lit a cigar and prowled outside the house, waiting for her to come out and get him. She was in there for over an hour.

"How many sins can a celibate former nun have?" he grumbled to himself.

Finally, she came out and called him.

"What did ya say ta him?" he growled in her ear.

"That's between me, Fr. Kevin and God," she told him. "I didn't tell him about the X-Men if that's what you're worried about. He would be in danger if he knew."

"Rogue," Fr. Kevin was saying as they entered the house, "there aren't enough adult catechumenates in this parish to hold classes so I've asked Carolyn to teach you. If, after a year, you are still interested, I will baptize you. It will need to be after midnight on Easter morning. I can't baptize you during the Easter vigil as dictated by the church because you're a mutant but I promise you, I will baptize you, if that is what you want. Think about it and pray for guidance from Christ. He will let you know what you should do. I will see all of you on Sunday for Mass."

He escorted them to their car and waved as the drove away. None of them saw the woman across the street who watched them leave, her face thunderous.


	9. Expected and Unexpected Enemies

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter 1

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. This chapter is much darker than the previous chapters. Carolyn's life is becoming more complicated and a confrontation in town and at the mansion changes everything.

Feedback: Love it. Feedback makes the story much better.

Chapter 9: Expected and Unexpected Enemies

Carolyn decided to start Rogue's classes the next day with an in depth introduction to the Catholic Mass. The service can be very confusing to a neophyte. The confusion will make the Mass meaningless.

For what she wanted to do, she would need several books. Logan refused to allow her to leave the mansion to get them and wouldn't go himself so she made the rounds, trying to find someone to go for her. Scott surprised her and agreed to get what she needed.

Scott Summers hadn't been in a religious bookstore for many years. He found that things had changed since the last time he went to Mass. Books were now written in plain English and were easier to understand. The Catholic Church had a reputation for keeping it's members in the dark about many things. In the past twenty years, the veil had fallen and most of the doctrine had been revealed. People weren't expected to take the word of the church hierarchy any more. Rome actively encouraged debate among the masses and challenged them to reinterpret the teachings that had been set in stone for thousands of years. They were still behind the times. An organization the size of the Catholic Church can't move very quickly but there have been radical changes to his eyes.

He went through her list fairly quickly. She only needed basic instructional texts. His own curiosity had him giving several books the once over. A book on the history of the Catholic Church and a short tome on the practices of the church made their way into his basket.

"Let me know if you have any questions," Carolyn told him when she saw the books.

The sun was shinning brightly as Logan drove Rogue, Carolyn and a pouting Remy back to the church for Mass on Sunday. Remy didn't want to come but Logan insisted. There needed to be someone inside and outside to protect Carolyn. He wasn't Christian and had no business attending a Christian service so Remy was elected. Logan would watch the doors and keep danger from going in. Remy was to monitor the congregation.

Remy went through the motions of the Mass, sitting, standing and kneeling when the others did but he didn't pay attention. He was too busy watching everyone else to take in the Mass.

At the Gospel, he began to feel the pressure of someone watching them. A quick scan of the crowd didn't reveal any overt threats but he couldn't shake the feeling. When Carolyn went up to the front for communion, he went with her, still scanning the crowd for threats. He took the host but tucked it into his pocket. He felt like a hypocrite. He had done too much to be entitled to take communion.

As they returned to their pew, he noticed a heavy set blond woman looking at Carolyn with so much hate in her eyes that his steps faltered. He waited until she had finished her prayer before mentioning the woman.

"There's a woman on the left side, five pews up from us that has been watching us," he murmured to her. "Do you know her?"

Carolyn followed his eyes and gasped in recognition.

"Who is she?" he asked in a low voice.

"My Aunt Theresa, The Mother Superior of my convent," she whispered. "Remy, she knows."

"Let's go," he hissed. He stood and grabbed her hand, pulling her from the pew.

"Wha..." Rogue squeaked.

"Out, chere. Now"

They made their way through the crowd heading up for communion and left the church. Logan was smoking a cigar, leaning against a tree near the front door.

"What's up, Gumbo?" he growled.

"Trouble," Remy told him.

"You have some nerve," a regal voice said from behind them.

"Aunt Theresa," Carolyn sighed as the turned to face her.

"You have no right to come here," Sister Theresa hissed. "You are the spawn of Satan. God doesn't want you in His house."

"Back off ya bitter old bat," Logan growled.

"I'm as much a child of God as anyone else. I have every right to the sacraments."

"You gave up that right when you accepted power from the devil."

"God gave me my powers," Carolyn told her. "He has helped me to control them and use them for the good of all mankind."

"You made a deal with the devil," Sister Theresa shrieked. "You are damned to hell for all eternity." She lifted her arm, intending to strike Carolyn.

With a flurry of movement, the X-Men went into action. Rogue caught Sister's arm in an unbreakable, vice like grip. Remy pulled a card from his trench coat and charged it, holding it up menacingly. Logan grabbed Carolyn, pushed her behind him and popped his claws in the face of her tormentor.

Theresa quieted immediately. Her expression switched from anger to loathing in a flash.

"You're all freaks, just like her," he hissed.

"We may be freaks like you say," Rogue said calmly, "but we treat people like human beings."

"Obviously, you don' have any Christian values," Remy said, his voice deceptively light but his eyes flashed in anger.

"Ya better git," Logan told her, making his dislike clear.

She stepped back and Rogue released her. "This isn't finished." He voice was low with threat. She turned and marched to the parking lot.

"She's gonna be trouble," Remy remarked as he withdrew the charge he placed on the card.

"She hates you," Rogue said.

"She's grieving," Carolyn corrected. "She's been like a mother to my since I was eight. She never got the chance to have children of her own so she transferred her maternal instincts to me. When she found out, it was like I died. She can't get over that."

"Oh fer heaven's sake," Logan exploded. "Quit rationalizing her behavior. She's a dried up old prune and she hates yer guts. Ain't nothin' ya can say that'll change her mind."

"Let's get outta here," Rogue said, looking around as the church doors opened to disgorge the celebrants. "We're pretty exposed here."

Logan dragged a protesting Carolyn back to the car and pushed her into the back seat with Remy. He told Rogue to take up a position three hundred feetin the airand watch for threats. They both pulled comm badges out and pinned them to their chests.

"What do you think is going to happen?" Carolyn demanded, exasperated. "Sister Theresa is going to attack the car on the way home?"

"She ain't alone," Logan growled.

"Clear," Rogue called over the comm unit.

Logan started the car and drove away from the church. If anyone was going to follow them, he didn't want to lead them back to the mansion. He made several sudden turns and doubled back a few times. If there was a tail, he had lost it. He drove back to the mansion using the back roads.

Rogue landed as they were pulling into the mansion driveway.

"There was a car on the interstate pulled over ta the side," she told Logan after he'd parked the car. "Ah didn't go in for a closer look butAh think they were waitin' for ya."

"Damn," he swore. "They knew we were goin' ta Salem. I'd better tell Chuck."

"Get inside Carolyn," Remy ordered. "We still look like an ordinary school from the outside but you'll give us away if she sees you here."

Carolyn sighed and followed Remy into the house.

"Remy," she said, hesitant to provoke him again, "may I speak with you?"

Remy looked at her, deciding if he wanted to address their problems, then nodded slowly. The den was full of chattering students so they went to the kitchen. He poured her a cup of coffee and sat down at the counter. She slid onto a stool and kicked her shoes off, trying to make herself more comfortable.

"Why do I make you uncomfortable?" she asked.

Remy struggled with his thoughts. "Remy was raised in New Orleans," he began. "We Cajun's have a long history wit' de church, but we also got a long history wit' de Voodoo. Most of us believe in both. When a woman is rejected by de other women, she's bad juju. She bring bad luck to everyone, 'specially de ones dat live wit' her. Sometime, she bring de devil down on dem. Now you got powerful people lookin' for you. Remy don' want friends hurt 'cause we take you in."

"I don't want them hurt either," she told him. "I pray to God every night to protect the X-Men and the children from the people who want the get me."

"If you're gone, dey won't come here," he argued.

"But..."

"You can' leave. Sinister wan' you bad. We can' let him get your DNA. I know all this. I don' hafta like it."

"Remy," she said sadly, "we will never be friends. I hope we can live with each other peacefully for Rogue's sake. I know you love her and I care for her as well. Can we put aside our differences for her?"

"Remy'll give it a try."

"Thanks," she said as she slid off the stool. "I'm going to change into some comfortable clothes."

'Carolyn,' Charles' mental voice called. 'Could you come to my office right away?'

"Well, I was going to change," she mumbled. "I'll see you later Remy."

"This is about Sister Theresa," she said as she went into the office.

"What kind of power does she have over you?" Charles asked.

"I was never officially released from the convent," she told him. "I'm considered an AWOL nun. She's still my superior and has the power to order me to return to Holy Angels. I doubt she'd do that. The convent generally doesn't go after runaway nuns."

"Would you go back if she ordered you?" Charles asked.

"Yes."

"What fer," Logan demanded. "She threw you out. Why in the hell would you ever go back?"

"I took vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. If I disobey her orders, I break my vows and make my entire life a lie. I can't do that."

"Stop it Logan," Charles admonished. "Is there any way of releasing you from your vows without her help?"

"I could petition the Mother General," she told him. The phone on Charles' desk rang, startling her.

"Yes?" Charles answered the phone. "A call for you Carolyn. It's Fr. Ryan." He handed her the phone.

Logan stewed as she talked to the priest. Why would she go back to them? They couldn't accept what she was two years ago, what makes her think it would be any better now? Sometimes he just didn't understand her.

"Fr. Kevin spoke with Sister Theresa after Mass today," she told them after she'd hung up. "She told him about what happened in Bakersfield. She also told him that she was now attached to the Mother General's office as a special secretary. What that means is anyone's guess. I figure that she has access to all of the mail and any letter I send won't make it to the Mother General's desk.

He also said that it isn't safe for me to go back. He offered to come here and say Mass. I told him I would ask you."

"He is welcome to come," Charles said. "Is it possible for him to release you?"

"No," she said. "Only the convent and death can release me."

"Intruder alert," Cerebra chimed. Alarms were blaring through the mansion. The rumble of feet was heard in the office as the X-Men responded to the threat and the students took cover. "Identified. Mutant designate: Nathanial Essex, codename Mr. Sinister. Mutant group designate: the Nasty Boys. Location: back lawn."

Logan was out of the room before Cerebra was finished identifying the intruders.

"Cerebra, secure the office," Charles barked. Adamantium plated steel slammed over the doors and windows. Carolyn could hear humming from the walls as the force field snapped up. They were as safe as they could be considering there was a full scale mutant war going on outside on the lawn.

"Carolyn, link with me," he said "Let's give them some help."

She nodded and closed her eyes, allowing Charles to enter her mind. They saw the battlefield as if they were there. Storm, Jean and Rogue were airborne. Wolverine, Cyclops, Iceman, Gambit and Jubilee were attacking from the ground. Cyclops and Gambit were blasting away at Sinister. Cyclops was doing some damage. Gambit was not. Sinister was popping in and out of portals, keeping himself from getting too much damage. Wolverine was having a grand old time slashing at Hairbag. Iceman had Ruckus nearly frozen solid. Rogue had Gorgeous George by the hair and was carrying him aloft over the trees with the obvious intention of dropping him when she was high enough. Jubilee was dancing around all of them, tossing high powered paffs in the faces of anyone she could get to, keeping them blind and off balance. Storm was raining lightning bolts down all around them, driving them into a clump. Jean had a tight telekinetic hold on the vocal cords of Gorgeous George, preventing him from using his mutant power. The mansion security system, aimed by Beast, was firing lasers whenever he had a clear shot.

'I want you to pull out your worst fear and push it at Sinister,' Charles told her mind.

'Fear?' she asked. 'Wouldn't that make him more dangerous?'

'Not if you amplify it as much as you can. It will either paralyze him with terror or kill him by frightening him to death. I want him too afraid to come after you again.'

'I don't want to kill him,' she protested.

'I will try to prevent that,' Charles assured her. 'A very thin shaft of pure fear should do it.'

She gathered her biggest fear into a fine thread of emotion and pushed it toward Sinister, amplifying it as much as she dared.

Cyclops had just taken aim on Sinister again when he saw thewhite facedmutant collapse to the ground, hands clasped over his head. He hadn't seen a blow so he wasn't sure what was going on.

'He's terrified,' Jean told him through their link. 'Carolyn has sent a shaft of pure fear into him. She's keeping it below the levels high enough to kill him but if she doesn't stop soon, she will drive him insane.'

Carolyn evidently heard her. Sinister suddenly relaxed and started to shake. Scott stepped up to the quivering man and looked down. He stank of urine after loosing control of his bladder from fear.

"Leave," Scott ordered, his voice hard. "Leave and never come back. You'll never get her. She won't allow it."

Sinister jumped up and ran, opening a portal as he went. He leapt through and was followed quickly by the Nasty Boys.

"Whoohoo," Jubilee yelled after the portal snapped closed. "That was great. Carolyn could put us all out of a job. Did ya see Sinister pee his pants? It was awesome!"

"Hellfire had to have seen it," Scott said grimly.

"No way they'd miss it," Logan said as he fired up a cigar. "'Bout a subtle as a solar eclipse."

"Shaw won't want ta mess up his pretty little brain," Rogue said as she landed. "Selene might want ta come after her but Carolyn's religious zeal might put a bad taste in her mouth."

"Why is that?" Jubilee asked

"De Black Queen's a demon," Remy told her. "And a witch.

"Witch with a 'B'?" she giggled.

"Non, p'tite," Remy told her seriously. "She is a witch with the power given ta her by da devil."

"Fer real?" Jubilee squeaked. Remy nodded. "Whoa!" she breathed.

"Let's go in," Scott told them. "Logan?"

"Be in after I have my smoke," he told him.

"War Room in fifteen," Cyclops said as he walked back to the house.

"I don't think he'll come back unless he wants revenge for making him look bad," Jean said. "He was scared nearly to death."

They were all gathered in the war room, debriefing after the fight. Logan was extremely pleased with the skills and control of his latest student. Carolyn did very well.

"I think he knows Carolyn can beat him," Jubilee piped up. "That was some power!"

"He won't want ta take ya now but that don't mean he won't come back fer a DNA sample," Logan told her. "He won't hesitate ta kill ya now."

"I agree," Charles said. "Hank, I want all of her blood and tissue samples destroyed immediately. Carolyn, you will need to use a new toothbrush, hairbrush and comb each time. Once they're used, they must be incinerated. All used feminine hygiene products as well."

"Eeew," whispered Jubilee.

"Your clothing must be laundered daily. Hank will be responsible for charting your menstrual cycle. You must remain on grounds from now on. You may not leave the house for any reason while you are ovulating." He stopped as dismay and anger flashed across his mind.

"You're putting me in a prison!" she gasped. "Charles, I can't live like that again."

"Your DNA cannot leave this house," he told her calmly. "And you're projecting."

Jean and Charles heard a mental clang as she slammed her shields up, hard. The others felt relief as the emotional torrent ceased.

"You will have full use of the mansion," he assured her. "I only ask that you restrict your toilet needs to your own bathroom."

"A gilded cage is still a cage," she said, her voice rough. She looked Charles in the eyes. She wasn't projecting but he could see she was very angry. She straightened and swept out of the room with all the dignity she could muster.

"Wow," Jubilee said loudly. "That was harsh."

"Her anger will cool in time," Charles said.

"I was talking about you," she told him. "You've taken a smart, beautiful woman and put her in prison because of her genes. Talk about hypocrisy!"

"Jubilee," Scott said, his tone rising in warning.

"Shut up, Cyke," Logan growled. "She's right and you know it."

"Charles, you can't do this to her," Jean protested. "You'll smother her and make her resent us."

"Having an omega level empath resent you is not a good situation," Hank said. "She was kept close by the sisters for so long that now that she has some level of freedom, she may react very badly if you curtail her activities."

"She has the power to refuse to do what you want," Jean told him. "The only one who could stop her is Rogue."

"And I won't," Rogue said, her arms crossed in defiance. "She's my best friend. I won't betray her by stoppin' her if she wants ta do somethin'."

"I can see my decision is not a popular one," Charles sighed. "The only way this will work is if the X-Men help. Will you?"

"Not on your life," Rogue told him.

"You've got to be kidding," from Jubilee

"I'm sorry, Charles, but no," Jean said.

"It is not in the best interest of the X-Men to do this," said Beast.

Remy shook his head and Logan laughed like Charles was crazy.

"Scott," Charles asked the leader.

"I'll help you," Scott said. "But it will be on my terms," he yelled over the objections of the team. When they were quiet again he spoke. "We will attempt to contain her DNA here in the mansion by burning her hygiene products and lab samples but I won't curtail her movements outside the mansion. She will be allowed to leave the mansion as long as she is escorted by at least two alpha level team members. Logan can tell when she's ovulating so he can give us a heads up when we need to be extra careful. I don't think we should track her cycle like some kind of dairy cow. That's just too humiliating. She is suspended from field missions until further notice. If she is attacked, the mission is to get her safely back to the mansion. Lethal force is authorized if needed, and Logan, it better be needed. We must try and keep her trips outside of the mansion to as few as possible."

"What are ya goin' ta do if we're called out on a mission?" Rogue asked.

"I'm going to recall Kitty and Kurt to the mansion," he explained. "They will be responsible for her safety while we are gone. Any other questions?"

"I got somthin' ta say," Logan said. "Cyke and Chuck know this but the rest of ya don't. Carol asked me ta kill her if it looks like she's gonna fall inta enemy hands."

"And you agreed?" Rogue demanded.

"Yeah," he said. "She also asked that Jubilee destroy her body immediately."

"I don't know if I can do that Wolvie," she said in a small voice.

"Yer the only on who can darlin'. Yer gonna hafta draw deep but ya got it in ya ta do it."

"I don't mean my powers, I don't think I can do IT. She's a friend Wolvie. I can't slag her body like some piece of meat."

"It's what she wants. She doesn't want some crackpot a hundred years from now diggin' up her body and usin' her DNA ta clone her."

"Is DNA still viable after so long?" Jean asked.

"DNA in teeth is viable for quite a long time. Scientists have been able to extract DNA from the teeth of 'Lucy' and her corpse is millions of years old," Hank told them. "Her fears are justified. Theoretically, it is possible to grow a clone from DNA of advanced age."

"I can't believe y'all," Rogue yelled. "How can ya think 'bout killin' a friend and fellow X-Man? Don't ya gotta heart?"

"I'll do it 'cause she's asked me to," Logan told her calmly.

"Remy'd do it chere," Gambit said softly.

"That's 'cause ya don't like her," Rogue yelled.

"Non," he said. "Remy'd do it 'cause it's what she wan' and 'cause she's right. I know what Sinister'll do ta her. Remy won' let that happen to anyone ever again."

"But she's mah friend," she said, her voice trembling.

"I know chere," Remy said softly. He put an arm around her shoulder to comfort her. "She love you an' don' wan' to hurt you but if her choice is fallin inta Sinister's hands and dyin', she'd be better off dead. She don' wan' us ta hafta fight her clone years down the road. We don' wan' ta fight her clone. We'd loose. An omega mutant in Sinister's hands without God to pull her back is too awful ta t'ink about, 'specially one wit' her potential. Remember chere, she hasn't had a power up yet."

"Oh God," Rogue whispered, horrified.


	10. The Dating Game

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: Everybody but Carolyn belongs to Stan Lee and Marvel. I ain't making a dime from this.

A/N: Thanks to my reviewers, especially dizi.

Feedback and archiving: You may archive if you wish but please tell me where. Feedback is gratefully appreciated. Just push the little button on the bottom of the page and tell me what you think.

Chapter 9: The Dating Game

Charles sought out Carolyn the next day and apologized for what he had said during the meeting. Scott had already told her about the new plan and she agreed that she could live with it. She couldn't drive so whenever she left the grounds, she had company. Now she just had more company.

The first time Logan sent her inside when he smelled the changes in her hormone levels was incredibly embarrassing. Most of the mansion was outside playing basketball or lounging on the grass. She was playing guard on his team when he stopped the game suddenly.

"You need ta go in Carol," he told her.

"But we're winning," she protested. "I can't quit now."

"If she leaves, homme, you forfeit," Remy said twirling the ball on one finger.

"Go inside Carol," he said through clenched teeth.

"But Wolvie," Jubilee whined. "We'll loose the game."

"Why do I have to go in?" she demanded.

"Yer ovulatin'," he growled.

An uncomfortable silence fell over the group. She gave a small embarrassed laugh. "Game called on account of hormones. This has to be a first." She ran to the mansion blushing redder than she ever had before.

Logan chased her in and caught her in the hall outside of her room.

"Sorry 'bout that," he said. "Next time, do what I tell ya ta do."

"Why didn't you just whisper in my ear?" demanded Carolyn.

"Two reasons," he said. "First, the team needed ta know. We'll increase out security inside and out. The second is 'cause I like ta rile ya."

"Very funny," she told him sourly. "What kind on security measures are you implementing."

"Increased patrol on the grounds. I'm gonna set up camp fer a few days in the woods. Cerebra's gonna run mid level systems durin' the day and lock down max at night fer three days. Chuck had gene scanners installed in all the entrances. Two people watching the monitors instead of one. Things like that. The one thing yer gonna hear about from the kids is that curfew is exactly at ten. Anyone outside after ten except me is gonna be targeted by the lasers and cannons so everyone's gotta be back on time."

"But it's Saturday," she objected. "Some of the kids have dates."

"Their gonna hafta cancel or be back early," he growled testily. Jubilee was one of those who had plans for tonight. He didn't like her dating, especially when he hadn't had the chance to give the guy a sniff.

"What are you going to do if they decide not to come home until the morning?"

He growled menacingly.

"Doesn't Jubilee have a date tonight?"

The pitch of his growls deepened and became more threatening. Carolyn felt the hairs on her arms rise.

"You'd better talk to her Logan. She's ornery enough to say 'Screw you' and stay out all night."

He was breathing hard. Jubilee was a pack mate and still a pup. He never reacted well when she went out on dates. He knew he was too riled up to talk to her and still make sense.

"Gimme a shot of calm," he told her. Carolyn directed a thread of calm into his mind, obliterating his anger.

"I said a shot, not a bucket," he said as his anger was erased and replaced by calm.

"You need as much calm as you can get when talking to Jubilee," she laughed. "Don't let her get you angry again."

"I ain't angry at her," he protested.

"No," she agreed, "you're angry at the lone male who invades your pack to sniff around one of your pups and you're transferring your anger to her. Don't let it get to you, Logan. She's nineteen. Give her a chance to find her own mate. She's a smart girl and she loves you. She won't pick someone who doesn't meet your high standards. She knows that if her marriage doesn't work out, she'll be a widow before she's a divorcee."

"I wouldn't..."

"Yes, you would," she stopped him. "You're more protective of her than any other child in the mansion. You have a long history with her." She opened her door and stepped into her room. "Go on, get it over with." She closed the door in his face.

He stood outside her door with a scowl on his face. He hated it when people had more insight into his feelings than he did himself. He felt the anger rise again and just as quickly, drain.

"Stop that," he growled through the door.

"I knew you'd start thinking again," he heard her say. "Go talk to her. This time, don't dwell on loosing her. She's not leaving you. And don't you dare loose your temper with her."

He took a deep breath and let it out in a woosh. His feet took him down the hall to Jubilee's room. He steeled himself and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Jubilee yelled.

He opened the door and went in. The room looked like it had been bombed. She had clothes strewn all over the room.

'Ya shouldn't just yell 'come in' Jubes," He frowned. "Ya need ta get in the habit of answerin' the door yerself or askin' who's there."

"In my own home Wolvie?" She was going through her wardrobe, looking for and outfit to wear on her date.

"Best ta get in the habit in the safety of the mansion than ta get yer ass kicked after ya get yer own apartment."

She stopped what she was doing and looked at him in surprise.

"You'd let me move out?" she asked, astounded.

"Don't look so surprised," he smiled. "I'm gonna hafta kick ya outta the nest soon but I need ta teach ya a few more things like how ta harden yer apartment and how ta shake a tail and evade capture when yer drivin'. Ya still got more ta learn from this old cannuckle-head."

Jubilee launched herself at him with a shriek and gave him a big bear hug. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, his heart breaking. "Yer growin' up, darlin'," he told her, his voice rough with emotion. "I don't like it but I can't stop it from happenin'. It's gettin' ta be time fer ya ta find a man and settle down ta raise a family. I want ya ta be sure of yer choice 'cause I'll hafta kill the bastard if he hurts ya. Yer my lifeline Jubes. I want ya ta be happy, even if it means I gotta let ya go."

"Oh Wolvie," she sniffled. "I love you too."

They stood there, in each others arms, for quite some time before Logan cleared his throat and spoke.

"Jubes, about yer date tonight,"

"I know Wolvie," she stopped him. "I need ta be in by ten. We're just going to the arcade to play some games. The mall closes at ten. I'll be home before then, I promise."

He exhaled in relief. "I figured you'd be mad," he said.

"Nah," she told him as she pulled out of his arms. "Mike's a friend. I just wanted some time away from the mansion. Anyway, Carolyn's safety is more important than a date."

"I want ta meet him before ya go," he growled.

"I'm not planning on sleeping with him Wolvie," she teased. "I'm just going to the mall with him."

"That doesn't mean he ain't plannin' ta sleep with you," he cautioned. "I've lived with teen aged boys long enough ta know how they operate."

"You don't think I can take care of myself if he gets horny?" she demanded, her hands on her hips.

"I know ya can take care of him if he gets ta be too much but I'd feel better if ya know ahead of time if he wants ta get inta yer pants."

"Oh for heaven's sake Wolvie. He's a teenage boy! Of course he wants to get in my pants. I'd be concerned if he didn't. That doesn't mean he will. Give me some credit."

"Humor me Jubilee."

"Oh, alright," she gave in to him. "You get to sniff him but no claws. I don't want you scaring him off. He's a good friend."

"Thanks Jubes. If ya run inta any trouble or he ditches ya, call the mansion. One of the flyers'll pick ya up. If they can't come and get ya, go ta Jenny's place. She'll bring ya back in the mornin'. Just make sure ya call in. Ya got yer cell and money fer a cab?"

"Cell in my pocket and money in my shoe," she told him. "Don't worry Wolvie. It's not like this is my first date."

"I can't help it, darlin'."

"I know," she said, kissing him on the cheek. "Now get out so I can change. Mike will be here at six."

Jubilee kept her promise and returned home with ten minutes to spare, as did most of the others. Two of the other girls, figuring out they couldn't get back on time, checked into a hotel for the night. They were responsible enough to call the mansion and check in. One student decided to try to sneak in at midnight. He was caught by Wolverine but not before sustaining an ugly laser burn to his chest. By the thunderous expression on Wolverine's face when he handed the student over to Cyclops at the door, the guy knew it would be a long time before he saw the outside of the mansion again.

When Kitty and Kurt returned from XSE, Ororo left. She had been away from her team for too long and wanted to go back. Her exit was mourned by the X-Men but mostly by Carolyn and Logan. Carolyn was sad to see her teacher go. She had helped her so much in controlling her emotions and had become a very close friend.

Ororo appears cold to people who don't know her well. Carolyn had initially thought the weather witch didn't like her but, over time, she came to understand just how much Ororo cared. Storm's powers were driven by her emotions and made it necessary for her to have absolute control at all times. After getting to know her, Carolyn found that she had a wicked sense of humor and a caring heart. The fierce loyalty she had to her friends rivaled Logan's. She would do anything short of murder for a friend and was a lioness when it came to protecting the children in her charge.

Logan would miss her for a completely different reason. After Carolyn made it clear that their relationship wasn't going beyond friendship, he had taken a closer look at Ororo. She had been a friend for many years and he could count on her in battle. She was stunning, kind, gentle and loving. Everything he wasn't. He had always been attracted to her but he felt that his rough edges would disgust her. He was wrong. She had made the first overture and he went with it. It had taken several months for Logan to screw up the courage to invite her into his bed and he was surprise when she accepted.

Ororo was not an overly experienced woman; the only other man she'd been with was Forge. Logan was happy to teach her. Their lovemaking was usually sweet and satisfying for them both but, occasionally, the animal would get the best of him. Then it became wild and mind blowing. She would take everything he had and give him back more. He had fallen deeply in love with her. Her return to XSE was killing him.

With the return on Kurt, Carolyn's bedroom became very crowded each night. She had Rogue, Kurt, six of the students and herself kneeling around her bed and praying the Rosary. When three more students and Scott asked to join them, it became necessary to find another room. Charles offered a small parlor near the front door for their use and she accepted. Scott, Jean and Carolyn found antique pews in a shop in Boston, brought them home and Scott and Logan installed them in the parlor.

Fr. Ryan came once a week to say Mass in the mansion and found the little chapel charming. He 'lost' a portable alter there on one of his trips. He blessed a number of candles for them and brought a small braiser lit from the Paschal candle at St Agnes for them to use to light the candles for Mass. The chapel was not consecrated so the host could not be kept there but it functioned well for the residents and for Fr. Ryan.

I was necessary for the day of Mass to change every week. No one was informed until the day before, when there was going to be Mass. It was never the same day or time as the previous week. Reconciliation was monthly and was announced when Fr. Ryan arrived at the mansion. If Mass fell during the three days of highest security, it was canceled. Fr. Ryan was not allowed access to the X-Men during those three days.

Life fell into a comfortable routine for the residents. Several times, Carolyn was left behind as the team did it's job and saved the world. It was during one of those time that she noticed a change in Kitty's behavior. She seemed more relaxed and happier since her return. She finally admitted that she and Kurt had formed a bond and she was genuinely happy now. She also admitted that she still found Logan attractive but she was happy with Kurt and didn't want to jeopardize her relationship with him.

"He's with Ororo now," Carolyn told her one day when the team was off on a mission. "He loves her and seems to be happy now."

"I'm glad," Kitty told her. "He deserves to be happy. Too many people have shit on him over the years."

"Me included," Carolyn said.

"What do you mean?"

"He wanted me first and I rejected him, calling on my vows to shield me. I hurt him. I'm beginning to think I was wrong to wrap myself in the vows of sisterhood for so long after I was thrown out. I accused the convent and Charles of isolating me and putting me in a prison when it was me doing the isolating all along. I built my own prison and it's up to me totear it down."

"Don't do anything rash," Kitty cautioned.

"I'm not about to jump into bed with the first guy who asks but I'm going to date again."

"You've dated? I thought you went into the convent as a child."

"I did. I took Logan out to dinner not long after you left. It was horrible, Kitty. The food was awful and the service worse. The waitress kept coming on to Logan and ignoring me. And to top it all off, the car was stolen while we ate and we had to call home for a ride."

"Wow!" she said. "I don't think I've ever had a date go that bad. I mean, I've had a crazy mutant crash through the wall of the restaurant or attack a concert I've been at but I kinda expect things like that. The food's usually been great and the music awesome."

"Well, I haven't been brave enough to do it again," Carolyn said. "I've been out with Logan to Harry's but only as a group with Remy and Rogue and sometimes Jubilee but not an actual date, just me and him, a nice dinner and a movie or play."

"First thing we have to do is find you a guy," Kitty said as she made plans. "Logan and Remy are taken. How about Bobby?"

"I'd prefer someone a little more mature than the teenagers I teach all day."

"You can't have Kurt," Kitty told her, her eyes narrow.

"No," she laughed, "Kurt's yours. He's like a brother anyway."

"I know," she said excitedly. "Steve Rodgers."

"Captain America?" Carolyn squeaked. "I can't go out with him!"

"Why not? He's a sweet guy and he's single."

"He's Captain America! He's way above me. Anyway, I don't even know him."

"I do," Kitty told her with a sly look. "Come on Carolyn, let me invite him over. He's a nice guy and he won't demand sex on the first date. He's perfect for you."

"How can you be sure of that?"

"He's Logan's age. He was raised with different values than guys our age."

"That didn't keep Logan from trying to jump my bones."

"Steve's different. He's a gentleman. He won't do anything you don't want. Let me invite him over and you'll see."

"A blind date? I don't know about that Kitty."

"It won't be a date. I'll invite him over for a dinner with the X-Men so you can meet him. If you don't like him, you don't have to go out with him. If you want to go out with him, great. If you don't, that's great too, but you need to at least meet him."

"What if my powers scare him off?"

"If that happens, you can always give him an inferiority complex." Kitty knew she was weakening.

"If things go wrong, I get to smack you around a bit."

"Deal," Kitty agreed.

"You're so lucky," Jubilee told her as she dressed for dinner.

"Lucky?" she said distracted. She was trying to put her earrings on with shaking hands. She couldn't believe how nervous she was.

"Yeah," Jubilee sighed. "Kitty invited him to meet you. He's handsome. He's nice. He's Captain America for God's sake."

"It doesn't mean he's right for me, Jubes."

"Are you kidding? He's perfect."

"Ya decent in there?" Logan called through the closed door.

Jubilee jumped up and let him in. He had, for once, abandoned the jeans and flannel and was wearing green chino's and a ecru shirt. He had gone all out for her. She was touched.

"I'm always decent," Carolyn teased. "But I'm also ready. You look very handsome."

"Ya look great yerself," he told her. She was wearing a sapphire blue silk dress that draped her form to perfection. Silver shimmered on her ears and wrists. Her crucifix was nestled between her breasts. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail that fell past her shoulders in a riot of curls. She was breathtaking. Logan felt a pang of regret that they had been unable to make a match. Cap's a lucky guy, he thought.

"Hey," Jubilee called. "What about me?"

"Ya look terrific in anything, Jubes," he told her.

"What about my outfit?" She twirled to show off her red sequined mini and low cut tank top. She liked this outfit. It made her look sexy.

"Not enough fabric," Logan scowled.

"You're so old fashioned Wolvie," she giggled. "This is what all the girls are wearing now."

"Ya ain't 'all the girls', yer my girl," he growled. He saw the look of disappointment on her face and regretted his words. "Ya look beautiful darlin', just don't wear that in public unless I'm there ta protect ya from the wolves."

"Party pooper," she mumbled crossly as they went downstairs for dinner.

Dinner that night was very different than the usual dinners in the X-mansion. It was totally non powered. Plates went unfrozen and food was sent around the table by hand rather than by telekinesis. The candles were lit by matches instead of paffs. The students had eaten earlier so there were no loud arguments to break up and no food fights to shield from. All in all, it was a pleasant evening for all.

Carolyn found that Steve was everything Kitty had said he was. He was kind, a gentleman, didn't swear and only drank one glass of wine with dinner, preferring to stick with water. He was genuinely interested in her as a person rather than a body only good for sex. She was honest with him and told him that she had been a nun and why she had left the convent. He expressed his outrage at her treatment and told her that if she needed help to call him. By the end of dinner, it was Carolyn and Steve rather than Ms. Gibson and Mr Rodgers.

After dinner, Jean and Carolyn went into the kitchen to set up the coffee and dessert trays and Logan pulled Steve aside for a talk.

"She's been very sheltered Cap," he told him. "She's still a virgin and she's only had one date. It didn't go very well fer her. Ya hurt her bub, and I'll gut ya."

"I like her Logan," Steve told him. "She's bright, funny and beautiful but her life is too complicated right now. She's not ready for sex yet and I have no intention of pushing. If we have a physical relationship, it will be on her terms, not mine."

Logan was satisfied with his answer. Rodgers was a good guy. He knew the rules when it came to Logan's female friends; no touchie without his permission.

"So," Jean was saying in the kitchen, "what so yo think of him?"

"I like him," she sounded surprised. "He's a nice guy. A little white bread, but sweet."

"He is, isn't he? Most superheros are pretty full of themselves but not him. Steve's always had his feet firmly planted on the ground."

"You know him better than I do."

"Do you think you can be comfortable enough to date him?"

"I think I can. The only problem is that, until the nuts quit chasing me, we'll have to stick to the mansion, where we'll have the X-Men looking over our shoulders, or his place, where we'll have the Avengers doing the same thing. That kind of atmosphere isn't conductive to romance."

"Oh dear," Jean looked stricken. "I hadn't thought of that."

"Don't worry," she reassured the tall redhead. "If it's going to happen, it will. I've been around sneaky teenagers long enough to know their tricks. When I'm ready, I'll make sure we have privacy."

Carolyn walked Steve to the door at the end of the evening.

"I had a good time," he remarked.

"I did too," she said suddenly shy.

"Listen," he said after clearing his throat. "Would you be interested is going out for dinner and a play some night?"

"I'd love to," she smiled at him, "but Charles won't allow me to go out in public without at least two alpha level team members tagging along."

"Why?" he asked in confusion.

"I have a number of powerful mutants trying to get me," she explained. "There have been several attempts in the past year and one was here at the mansion."

"Why would they want you? Are you that powerful?"

"I'm an empath. I can control the emotions of just about anyone."

"Oh," he said thoughtfully. "How about the Avenger mansion? We could have dinner and talk. It's almost as secure as here and there are quite a few super powered residents. It's also close to XSE headquarters."

"I'd love to."

"Next Saturday?"

"Not next week," she told him as she ran some calculation through her head. "We should be in lock down next weekend." She saw his eyebrow rise in question. "I can't explain now. I need to ask Charles first if I can tell you everything."

"Far be it for me to try to get secrets from the X-Men," he laughed. "How about the Saturday after?"

"That would be great," she told him. "Just make sure the transportation meets Logan's high standards."

"I will," he said and kissed her cheek. "Good night."

"Good night Steve." She watched as he went to his car and drove off.

"He likes ya," Logan said from the shadows as she closed the door. She stopped being startled by his sudden appearances a long time ago.

"And I like him," she told him, heading for the stairs. He fell in beside her.

"Don't let him talk ya inta anything," he warned.

"Believe it or not, Logan, it's not always about sex. Sometimes it's about being with someone you care for."

"I know," he said sadly.

She stopped at the top of the stairs and looked at him.

"You miss her, don't you?"

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Why are you still here then? You can transfer to XSE."

"I can't leave ya here unprotected."

"Unprotected? In a house full of powerful mutants?"

"It's not that darlin'. I made ya a promise and I intend ta keep it. Ya know the others won't do it and neither will Cap."

"I know," she said quietly. "At least take a few days and go and see her. She has to be a miserable as you." Indecision flitted across his face. "Go and see 'Ro and make sure you give her my love." She kissed his cheek and went to her room. He left the next morning.


	11. The Black Queen

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: I don't own any of the familiar characters, Marvel does and they wouldn't own the except they had the good sense to hire a writer named Stan Lee. I don't make any money from the use of these characters.

A/N: This is starting to come to a climax now. Only two or three chapters to go. Thanks to all my reviewers and especially dizi for her support.

Feedback: Please do. The stories get better when people tell us how we're doing. I will listen to all comments and suggestions.

Chapter 11: The Black Queen

Logan returned from his visit with Ororo a much happier man. The residents and students were relieved. They all knew why he went and now, whenever he got too testy, they would tell him to "Go to New York and get laid". The only ones who could say that to his face were Jubilee and Carolyn. The others would say it as long as they had a clear avenue of escape arranged. It wasn't healthy to tick him off. He started going every other weekend, making sure he was always home for lock down and the entire mansion rejoiced.

Carolyn, with Charles' permission, told Steve the reason for the increased security in the mansion. To her disappointment, he backed off. Logan let her cry on his shoulder, then went and beat the crap out of him.

"She's an omega mutant, Logan," Steve said, wiping blood off his lips. "She's got a ton of people who would love to get their hands on her. I don't want to add to them by bringing in my enemies as well. I'm a public figure. They'd find out about her soon enough if I stayed with her. This way, she'll be safe."

"Ya think she's safe now?" Logan yelled. "She's due for a power up soon. She's gonna be the strongest empath in the world. She ain't safe anywhere."

"Just how strong is she going to be?" Steve demanded.

"She may be able ta control the emotions of the whole world from her bedroom," Logan told him honestly. "She could start Armageddon or bring world peace. It'd be her choice. That's why we guard her so close and that's why I don't want her hurt." He punctuated the last five words by poking Cap in the chest with an adamantium backed finger.

"Ouch," he said rubbing his sore chest. "I won't hurt her Logan, but we have to think about this rationally. Until she powers up, she vulnerable. We both have enemies that would want her and we can't be with her all the time. We can't lock her away, hoping she'll learn to live with it. She'll whither and die if we do that, or worse, come to hate us. It's best that she remains out of the spotlight and away from me for now. I like her Logan. I really do but the only thing I can bring her is more trouble and she has plenty as it is."

Logan just looked at the tall man sitting on the floor. He didn't have a comeback for his argument. He had use the same argument to end relationships himself. Hearing the reasoning he'd used to leave the women he cared for most coming from Cap bothered him. He hadn't realized until now how inane it all sounded. He was ashamed of himself.

"That's the biggest load of shit I've ever heard commin' from yer mouth, Rodgers," he growled.

"You've used the same argument yourself," Cap protested.

"I know that," he yelled. "It was stupid then and it's stupid now. The only way ta keep her safe is ta stay near her."

"I don't have that right."

"No," he agreed, "you were dumb enough ta give it up. I ain't sure she'll take ya back now. She's got a lot of pride."

He slid down the wall to sit beside Cap and sighed.

"I need a smoke," he announced.

"Not in here," was Cap's automatic reply. "Do you think there's a chance she'll take me back?'

"Right now? Not a chance in hell," Logan informed him. "The only way yer gonna get her ta take ya back is ta be sneaky 'bout it."

"Do you have a plan?"

"Yup. How'd ya like ta do some extra duty fer a while?"

He had to enlist the help of the Summers' in his plan. Jean and Scott promised they would cooperate and left to visit her parents. Remy and Rogue decided to take a vacation in Hawaii, so that left Bobby and himself as the only alpha or higher mutants in residence. The higher level betas like Kurt, Kitty and Jubilee promised to be busy or gone when Carolyn next asked for a ride into the city. It worked like a charm.

"Logan?" she asked one morning. "Can you take me into the city? I need to buy some new sheets for my bed."

"What happened ta yer sheets?" he asked.

"The washer ate them. I only had one set."

"I'll loan ya a set."

"You have a king sized bed," she told him "I have a full. Your sheets are too big."

"What are ya doin' still sleepin' in a kids bed?"

"Unlike you, I don't entertain in my bed. A full's big enough for me."

"Ya had yer chance. Bed's taken now," he said smugly.

"Come on Logan. All I want to do is go to Macy's and get another set of sheets."

"Why can't Jean and Rogue take ya?"

"Jean and Scott have gone to visit her parents and Remy took Rogue to Hawaii. You and Bobby are the only alphas left."

"Can it wait until one of 'em comes back?"

"I only had the one set. I'll be sleeping on a bare mattress. They didn't even make me do that at the convent. Please Logan. I promise I won't take all day."

"Oh, alright," he said crossly. "Let me call 'Ro and let her know I'll be late."

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't realize you and 'Ro had plans."

"I'm takin' her ta dinner at seven," he said.

"We'll be back in plenty of time for you to make your dinner date."

"I wasn't lookin' forward ta dinner, darlin', I was lookin' forward ta the appetizer," he said with a knowing smile.

"Oh," she blushed.

He returned from making his call with Bobby in tow.

"We're gonna stop at the Avenger mansion and pick up Cap first," he informed her.

"No," she put her foot down. "I won't go with him."

"I ain't walkin' around Manhattan, just me and Bobby, with the biggest target in the Western Hemisphere. Cap goes or ya stay home."

She crossed her arms and silently fumed at him. He had her beat and he knew it. She needed the sheets or she was going to spend several uncomfortable nights waiting for another alpha to come home, and she was getting close to another lock down.

"Fine," she spat. "But if he says one word to me, I'll put him on the ground in a blubbering mass of insecurities."

"Ya don't hafta like each other, he just needs ta guard ya. But if he says duck, ya damned well better duck."

"I hate you," she ground out as they got in the car.

"What's with you and Rodgers?" Bobby asked as Logan pulled out of the gate. "I thought you liked him."

"Shut up, Bobby," they both yelled.

She wanted to stay in the car and pout when they reached the Avenger mansion but Logan wasn't having any. He pulled out of the car, almost dislocating her shoulder in the process.

"Logan, go easy on her," Bobby said. "If she can't get along with Captain America, maybe we should ask Iron Man or Thor."

"Yeah, right," Logan grumbled. "Like they know how to keep a low profile."

Steve Rodgers answered the door himself, much to the disapproval of Jarvis, the butler.

"Logan, Bobby," he nodded to the men in greeting. "Ms. Gibson. Welcome to my home."

"Ya ready?" Logan asked.

"Let me get my wallet and shield," he told them. He turned to find Jarvis holding the needed items in his gloved hands.

"That thing's kind of a dead giveaway, Cap," Bobby said doubtfully as Steve tucked his wallet into a back pocket.

"Watch," he told him. He performed a complex movement on the back of the shield and it collapsed into a small disk that he shoved into an inner pocket of his jacket. "No problem."

They were walking through the parking garage near Macy's when Cap dropped a bomb on them.

"I got a call today from our one eyed friend, Logan," he said lightly.

"Oh," Logan said, his senses alert. "What does he want?"

"He knows I went to dinner with your latest student. He's interested."

"Shit," Logan swore loudly. He didn't need S.H.I.E.L.D. to know about her. They would be almost as bad as Sinister. "He'd better not," he ground out, "or I'll take his other fuckin' eye."

"Logan!" Carolyn admonished.

"Sorry Carol," he said. "We've got another problem."

"Who this time?" She was getting tired of this.

"S.H.I.E.L.D.," he told her.

"I thought S.H.I.E.L.D. was one of the good guys."

"It depends. If you have a toy they want, they don't hesitate to take it," Bobby explained. "If you're the toy they want, they're going to try for you, today most likely."

"Change positions," Cap ordered. "Logan, you have point, I'll take the rear. Bobby, hand on her at all times. If anything happens, get her out the quickest way possible. Go to the XSE headquarters. They're closest. You're probably going to be exposed as a mutant but no one is to get a hold of her under any circumstances."

They started back on their way to the store.

"I hate this," she mumbled. "I hate this, I hate this, I hate this." Logan could smell and feel her growing fear. He stopped and turned toward her.

"Ya gotta get a grip Carol," He said shaking her slightly. "We're gonna protect ya but ya make it harder when ya broadcast like this."

She took several shaky breaths and pulled her emotions back. Locking them inside, she assumed the hard mask that Logan despised. She even pulled in the pheromones making the scent disappear. All he could smell from her was the light floral musk she preferred. He found the absence of pheromones from her disquieting. He suppressed the shiver threatening to run down his spine.

They found their way to the linen department and she quickly located the sheets she was looking for. Bobby convinced her to buy four sets so she wouldn't have to go through this again.

Cap and Wolverine stood together watching the other shoppers while she paid for her sheets, Bobby holding her arm like a besotted boyfriend.

"Did she do that?" Cap asked. "The fear?"

"Yeah," Logan told him. "She still looses control sometimes."

"I was about ready to run," Cap told him in a hiss. "She's a whole lot more powerful than I anticipated. What did she do to stop it?"

"She pulled her emotions inta herself and locked 'em down. She'll need a Danger Room workout ta get back ta normal."

"How can she live like this? She can't get angry or sad without affecting everyone around her."

"It's the life of an omega mutant. I don't envy her."

"But you're omega level."

"Only 'cause of Weapon X. I'm so screwed up, they don't really know how ta class me. The adamantium makes me omega. Without it, I'm not sure I'd even be beta. With her psionic powers, she's much stronger than me."

"Has she taken you down?"

"Repeatedly," he confirmed. "She can take out everyone in the mansion, and has in training." He purposely omitted any mention of Rogue's resistance to Carolyn's powers. Cap didn't need to know that.

The attack came as they returned to the car. Logan could smell them as the elevator rose to their floor and warned them. As soon as they stepped off the elevator, thirty S.H.I.E.LD. agents jumped out of hiding and surrounded them. And almost immediately dropped to the ground, along with Logan, Cap and Bobby. Carolyn slowly turned and faced the last person she wanted to see.

"You must be Selene," she said in a light tone. "What have you done to them?" She could feel the evil flowing from the Black Queen.

"They're trapped in their worst fears," she said, her face full of surprise. "You aren't affected by my powers."

"No, I'm not," Carolyn told her, her confidence growing. "I only fear God. He protects me. Your master has no power over me, and never will."

"They told me you were a nun but I didn't believe them."

"They are right, I was a nun and I still hold my vows sacred. If I won't break my vows for my friends, I most certainly won't break them for you."

"I will have you in the end," Selene purred. "Fate demands it. We can rule the world, you and I. Your ability to manipulate emotions and my ability to uncover the worst fear of everyone alive would make us gods. We could link and create the chaos my master demands. It would be glorious."

"Your master was an angel who was cast out of Heaven by my Master. Who do you think is stronger?" she walked slowly around the black clad demon. "The difference between us, Selene, is that you deal in emotions already present. I can give you the emotion most appropriate for the situation." She built a strong thread of an emotion she had forgotten about and sent it into the witches mind. She began slow and built on it. She wanted her to know what was happening. "Or not." Her voice was hard and dead.

Selene began to feel her emotions change. She was shaking. "What are you doing?" she shrieked.

"Giving you something to fear," Carolyn said coldly. She continued to build her power as the demon collapsed to the garage floor, whimpering. "Your master can never control me. My God is God. He loathes your kind." She held her power level in the middle of her range. She had no desire to kill this thing. She was once a mutant much like herself but using dark magic and deals with Satan, she had been transformed.

Selene slowly stilled and the others began to stir. Carolyn sent a thin thread of emotions to the waking S.H.I.E.L.D. agents to keep them out a while longer.

"Selene," Bobby gasped as he rolled to his back.

"Don't worry about her," Carolyn told him as she helped him to his feet. "She's down for the count. Let's get out of here. Keeping thirty agents and that demon down is giving me a headache."

They scrambled to the car and dumped the bag in the trunk. Logan stopped and looked around the garage as the others got in the car. All thirty agents were sound asleep, some of them snoring. The Black Queen was curled up in a ball of misery, barely breathing. What the hell had Carolyn done to her, and how was she controlling thirty-one minds without passing out?

"Get in Logan," she ordered. "I want to go home."

"What did ya do ta the Black Queen?" he asked when they turned on to the freeway.

"I gave her the feeling that she's failed her master spectacularly," she told him, her arm draped over her eyes. "She may recover but I'm not sure. I was very angry. The agents are just asleep from boredom. I'm still holding all of them. I figure I'd better wait until we get home to release them."

It took them a little over an hour to get back to the mansion. Carolyn was never so glad to see the imposing edifice in her life. The sunlight was like ice picks being driven into her eyes sending shards of pain into her aching head. Her stomach was rebelling after all she had put herself through. She started walking to the mansion, her head buzzing, and realized, she wasn't going to make it. She dropped to her knees and vomited. She vaguely heard people yelling all around her but she couldn't understand what they were saying. It was just muffled gobbledygook. She wished they'd all just shut up. Her head was killing her. She felt someone pull her hair back as she emptied her stomach. She heard the muffled voice of Jean telling her to 'Let them go'. Let who go? She thought.

"Let them go," Jean yelled. "She's not hearing me Logan."

"Can ya tell her in her mind?" he asked. For the first time in a long time, he was afraid. Carolyn had begun to vomit bright red blood.

"She has her battle shields up. I can't get through them. Come on Carolyn, cut the threads."

Cap held her hair back and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "Let them go Carolyn. Cut the threads."

"Steve?" she gasped.

"Cut the threads," he whispered. "You're home."

"Oh," she said in a vague voice. "Okay." She reached into her mind and cut the threads that held her to the thirty-one minds. Immediately, the headache blossomed. She screamed in agony and passed out. Cap caught her before she landed in her own blood and vomit. He rose with her in his arms, looking at Hank.

"Take her to the med lab," Hank told him. "She's hemorrhaging. I need to operate immediately."

They ran as fast as they could, to the med lab. Logan stopped long enough to make a phone call.

"Fury," a gruff voice said.

"Call yer team at Macy's garage ya bastard."

"Logan? What are you angry about?"

"Leave her alone, Fury."

"This is about the empath. She has to be contained," he reasoned.

"She's not an animal that needs ta be caged. She's a beautiful woman who just found herself. Leave her alone. I'll kill her myself before I let you have her."

"Oh ho," Fury crowed. "You're gettin' some of her."

"Look at what she did in the garage as a warnin' and leave her the fuck alone." He slammed the phone down, smashing it into small pieces. It didn't make him feel any better.

Nick Fury looked at his phone with a frown. It should have worked. The team had tazers to take out Wolverine and Captain America and a flame thrower to take out Ice Man. What went wrong? He hit the intercom.

"Get me the commander of Omega squad on the horn," he ordered. It took a little over a minute.

"Status," he barked.

"The mutant got away,sir," the lieutenant reported.

"What the fuck went wrong?"

"I'm not sure, Colonel. We just woke up."

"What?" he yelled.

"She put us to sleep," the solder admitted. "There was something before that though. I think there was another mutant here." Fury could hear yelling in the background. "Sir, we have the Black Queen."

Fury's mouth dropped open in surprise, his cigar falling onto his desk. "Selene?" he demanded.

"Yes sir. She's in some sort of coma but it's definitely her."

"Collar her, solder, and get her up here. I want her contained yesterday." He slammed the phone down.

Well, he didn't get the empath he wanted but he did get the Black Queen. He thought about what happened. This kid shut down thirty solders who had been specially trained to resist psychic attacks and took out the Black Queen. Even Jean Summers hadn't been able to take Selene out.

Maybe he was going to have to leave her to Xavier.

A/N: One by one, the threats drop away. There's only one more person who can defeat Carolyn, and it's not who you think.


	12. Mail Call

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See chapter 1

A/N: I began this story during the final illness of Pope John Paul II. As I began this chapter, he was near death. I would like to dedicate this story to John Paul II who's faith in God and Jesus Christ led me back to the church after a twenty year absence. May the Heavenly Father accept his soul into the Kingdom of Heaven and keep it safe until Christ returns to us to gather His flock at the end of days.

Feedback: I love it. Please tell me what you thought about the story, good or bad.

Chapter 12 Mail Call

Ororo arrived just over fifteen minutes after Logan called and told her that Carolyn had collapsed and was in surgery. She ran through the halls of the mansion, her mind a mass of confusion and fear. She should have been safe here. The only threat remaining was The Hellfire Clubs and they didn't have the nerve to attack the X-Men directly. Magneto had admitted his interest in a phone call to Charles but, when informed of her background, told him that he wouldn't make an attempt to take the girl from the mansion. A woman of such strong religious convictions was useless to him.

She skidded to a stop outside the door to the small waiting area attached to the operating suite. The entire team was gathered there along with, of all people, Captain America. Jubilee, she could tell, was very upset. She kept jumping up and pacing rapidly around the room, only to return to her seat with each circuit and repeat the process. Kitty watched her in stony faced silence but didn't stop her from pacing. Logan's face was full with what she had come to recognize as thunderous self recrimination.

"Logan," she called from the door. Every eye in the room snapped to her. There was complete silence for about a half a second then the babble of voices swept over her, drowning out whatever Logan had said.

"Quiet," she bellowed, holding up her hand. "I will try to straighten this out. Jean, where is Scott?"

"He's driving the car back from my parents house," Jean's tear stained face begged her to understand. "I flew here under my own power. I felt what she was doing."

"And where are Rogue and Gambit?"

"On their way back from Hawaii," Kitty told her.

"Who's flying? Rogue?"

"United Airlines," Logan said, his head bowed. "They should be back in the mornin' if Rogue doesn't take it inta her head ta pick him up and fly back herself."

She nodded, satisfied that the absent team members were accounted for.

"Okay," she said with a sigh. "What happened?"

The volume increased as everyone tried to tell their story.

"I cannot understand you if you all speak at once," she said, raising her voice above the din. The room quited again. "Who was with her today?" Logan, Bobby and Steve lifted their hands into the air. "You three, come with me." She led them down the hall to the Danger Room corridor.

"Logan, you first. Explain to me what happened."

"She said her sheets were torn by the washer," he explained. "We took her ta Macy's ta replace 'em. We were attacked in the parkin' garage by S.H.I.E.L.D. and they were attacked by Selene. Carol defended herself and took 'em all out. When we got home, she started ta vomit blood. When we finally got her ta cut the threads, she passed out."

"Do you agree with his story?" she asked Steve and Bobby. Both nodded. "Thank you. Bobby, you may return to the med lab. Steve, you may return to the Avenger mansion. If I have any further questions, I will call you there."

"If you don't mind, I'd like to stay and make sure Carolyn's alright," Steve said stiffly.

"Of course," she said, surprised. "I will have a room prepared for you."

"I'll stay with Carolyn," he told her as he walked back to the med lab with Bobby.

Ororo watched them leave, thoughtfully.

"It's all my fault," Logan told her quietly, staring at his feet.

"It seems like it's a medical problem," she said. "You are not responsible for a medical problem."

"I tore the sheets, 'Ro," he whispered.

"What?"

"I wanted ta get her back with Cap. I needed ta give her an excuse ta go inta the city and meet him again. I made sure the other alpha's were out when she needed ta go so I'd hafta ask Cap ta help guard her. I didn't anticipate that S.H.I.E.L.D. would attack and I figured we could take care of Hellfire if they tried anythin'. I screwed up, 'Ro."

"What were you thinking? She could have been killed, or worse, taken by S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Ya never saw her when she was with Cap. He made her happy. She'd have this glow around her and she'd smile and laugh. I've never seen her so relaxed. When they had the fight, it was like part of her died. She was so sad and unhappy that I couldn't stand it. I just wanted her ta be happy, 'Ro. Instead, I almost got her killed. She could still die 'cause of me."

She lifted his face and looked into his eyes. "This is a serious lapse in judgment on your part that cannot go unpunished. You put a fellow X-Man in peril. I will need to discuss this with Charles and Cyclops. I'm disappointed with you Logan. You know better."

"I can be packed and gone in an hour," he told her.

"You won't get off that easy. You made a promise to Carolyn and I intend to hold you to it."

The pain in his eyes was breaking her heart. He was wrong and he knew it. His own conscience was punishing more than the X-Men ever could. He was going to pay for this one for a long time.

"I am going to help Henry. I suggest you try to get Steve to shower and change. He has blood all over his clothing."

"Perforated gastric ulcer," Hank announced three hours later. "She has lost a significant amount of blood necessitating several transfusions but I believe she will pull through. The main thing we need to worry about now is infection. A fair amount of stomach contents were spilled into the abdominal cavity and has set up a peritonitis. If she survives the infection, she will be fine."

"Couldn't you wash everything out?" Bobby demanded.

"I irrigated with four liters of sterile saline after the stomach had been repaired but in these cases, it is best to treat it as if the infection is already present. There is very little chance I was able to wash out all of the bacteria."

"How could she have an ulcer?" Kitty asked. "It takes years of stress to develop one."

"She hid a powerful mutation for ten years," Hank told her. "Ulcers are not caused by stress anyway. They're caused by H-Pylori and are very treatable when caught early. She has two other ulcers in different stages of growth as well. I will treat them and start a PPI to prevent new ones from erupting. What concerns me is that she showed no outward signs of the ulcer. These kind of ulcers are very painful in their latter stages. She should have been in considerable pain."

Everyone looked at Wolverine.

"I didn't smell anything from her," he told them. "She's able ta lock her pheromones away along with her emotions. If she was in pain, she wasn't lettin' the pheromones tell me."

"Has she burned out?" Jean asked, wringing her hands.

"Her EEG tracing is normal for a human, not a mutant. This tells me that her battle shields are still in place. We won't be able to tell if she has burned out until she wakes and is able to lower her shields."

"How is she able to keep her shields in place while unconscious?" Storm demanded.

"Omega level empaths are so rarethat we just don't know much about them. The shields could be hardened because she has suppressed her emotions for so long or because they are a natural defense that she needed to be trained to use. I don't think we will ever know."

"Did she power up?" Cap asked, his face flat. He had reluctantly showered and changed into a sweat suit left by Colossus. It was a little too big but at least it was clean.

"Cerebra's record of the event shows a slight dip in her power level," Charles said as he wheeled into the room. "She did not power up but she will within the next six months. I have just spoken with Colonel Fury. Selene is comatose and they are asking our help to wake her up."

"No!" Jean hissed. "I refuse to help her in any way."

"I know, my dear," Charles said, patting her hand. "I told Colonel Fury that we could not help her until we found out exactly what Carolyn did."

"We won't be helping even when we know," Cyclops said as he entered the room. "Her mind is too dangerous for anyone to mess with."

"I agree with Cyke," Logan growled. The room rang with astonishment. "What?"

"You agree with him?" Jubilee gasped.

"I agree with anyone who talks sense," he told her with a shrug. "There's a first time fer everything."

"We won't be doing anything as of yet," Charles reassured them. "It is possible Carolyn has a tendril still attached to Selene's mind. If she does, she will need to withdraw before we can attempt to wake her."

"Leave her the way she is," Jean demanded. "The world is better off with her mind turned in on itself."

"We have no right to do that Jean," he told her. "We are responsible for what happened to her and we must do everything in our power to correct it. Colonel Fury has assured me that S.H.I.E.L.D. can hold her as long as necessary."

"Hah," Logan exploded. "She'll be gone inside of a day if we wake her up."

"How do you figure that?" Charles demanded.

"The Black Queen is more demon than mutant. The collar won't hold her. I say we kill the bitch and have done with it."

"X-Men don't kill," Scott said pompously.

"Bull shit," Logan growled. "Ya authorized lethal force in protectin' Carol. Selene's a direct threat ta her. She ain't gonna quit."

"If she comes after her again, then yes, kill her. But I won't allow you to kill a defenseless woman in a cell on the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier."

"Don't fool yerself Cyke. She's about as defenseless as you are 'cept a collar'll shut ya down. It won't shut her down. Her powers ain't all 'cause she's a mutant. I say, if we don't kill her, we leave her ta rot in a coma."

"This is not a topic for debate at this time," Charles admonished the room. "We can do nothing until Carolyn regains consciousness."

"That will be quite some time," Hank told them. "I have given her a sedative that will keep her asleep until morning."

"It doesn't matter anyway," Jubilee announced. "It should be Carolyn's decision. She was the one who was hurt and it's her right to decide what happens to her."

"Hank," Steve interrupted, "May I sit with Carolyn?"

"Of course," Hank told him. "I might suggest you call the Avengers first and let them know where you are."

"I called them earlier," he told the big blue doctor. "If anyone calls, I'll be with Carolyn."

Steve pushed his way through the crowd and into the small ICU. The room was small, only two beds, but the powerful equipment in the room could do things no other ICU is capable of. Here, Hank and the other X-Men can save the life of someone other units would have given up on.

The Shi'ar is a vast empire that encompasses a large portion of the Milky Way Galaxy. Lilandra, the Empress of Shi'ar, had fallen in love with Charles Xavier many years ago. She very much believed in Charles' dream of peace between human and mutant but was appalled at the injuries the team would sustain in the course of their work. She began to send shipments of medical supplies and equipment that, when used carefully, would give them a slight edge over their enemies. The one thing that tickled the back of her mind was that some of the equipment could be used as weapons. She sent the equipment on the promise from Charles that he would never reveal to anyone where they came from. Thus, when Steve Rodgers entered the ICU, he was confronted with a dizzying array of unfamiliar machines.

Steve, in his role as Captain America, had met several extraterrestrial and extragalactic races. Most of them were hostile. He recognized the equipment as extraterrestrial and wondered at that. He had never met an advanced race who was willing to share their technology. The X-Men, obviously had. He didn't ask. He knew they wouldn't give him a straight answer. He was a little put out. Hank had been and Avenger at one time and he should have told him as the leader of the Avengers.

'Ah well,' he thought. 'We have our secrets, they have theirs.'

He pulled a chair next to the bed and sat down and picked up her hand. She was so pale, her skin almost the color of the sheets. Large dark circles framed her sunken eyes. Her breathing was rapid and shallow. She had severl IV lines going into her. The one in her chest had two red lines infusing precious blood into her depleted body. He wasn't sure about the ones in her arms. One of them was most likely and antibiotic but he didn't know enough about them to be sure. All he knew was that the more he looked, the more his heart pounded. For the first time in years, he was afraid.

'Dear God,' he prayed silently, 'please don't take her. I'll do anything You want but please, don't take her from me.'

It was 2:00AM and Ororo couldn't sleep. She had sent Hank to bed at midnight with orders to stay there until at least 8:00. She had taken over rounds from him. Carolyn's vitals had stabilized and her color was much improved now. She felt confident that she would pull through. She would have a long and painful recovery but she would recover. She woke briefly during the night and was able to lower her battle shields, allowing Storm to repeat the EEG. The tracings didn't indicate burnout but they would know more when she was fully awake.

When Ororo entered the med lab, she found Logan parked in a chair tipped against the wall outside of the small ICU, his hat pulled low over his eyes. She knew he wasn't asleep. Logan would never allow himself to sleep if he believed he was on guard duty. He wasn't, but that didn't make a difference. Logan had his own set of priorities.

"Logan?" she called softly.

"Mornin' 'Ro," he rumbled.

"Has he left her at all?" she asked, looking at the still form of Captain America.

"He comes out long enough ta use the bathroom but that's it."

"Has he eaten?"

"Nope."

"He hasn't slept either?"

"He dozed for a few minutes."

"He loves her," Ororo remarked.

"Yep," Logan replied. "You talk ta Chuck and Cyke?"

"I did," she confirmed.

"How much trouble am I in?"

"No more than me," she told him with a shrug. He tipped his hat back and looked at her . "I didn't wait for a plane."

"Oh."

"We will have to take our lumps."

The chair dropped to the floor with a dull thunk as he got up and went to her side. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close.

"He seems besotted," she remarked.

"Yeah," Logan said. "'Ro, do ya love me?"

She looked down at him, her eyes scolding. "I wouldn't sleep with you if I didn't"

He nodded thoughtfully and was silent. Minutes passed before he spoke again.

"I love you too," he said in a low rumble.

"I know," she smiled.

When Carolyn woke just after five that morning, Steve was still there. Her eyes struggled to focus on the face beside her, pain radiating from her abdomen making her eyes go wide.

"Are you in pain?" he asked in a bass rumble.

"Steve?" she asked, her voice raspy.

"I'm here," he reassured her. "Is your belly hurting?"

"A little," she admitted, her breath coming in shallow pants

"I'd say a lot considering you won't take a deep breath. Logan's gone to get Storm."

"What happened?"

"You had a stomach ulcer perforate. You lost a lot of blood"

"You were there," she stated, her mind still fuzzy. "You held my hair back so I wouldn't vomit on it."

He nodded. "You had me scared to death."

"Sorry," she said, hissing in pain. "Didn't mean to."

"You have nothing to be sorry for," he told her. "I can't say the same. I'm sorry Carolyn. I hurt you and I shouldn't have. I should have discussed my fears with you first. I thought you'd be safer if I went away. It took Logan's fist in my face to see the truth. You mean too much to me to trust anyone else to keep you safe."

Storm bustled in just as he finished speaking so she didn't have a chance to respond to the startling statement. He stepped out to allow her privacy while Ororo changed her bandages and gave her pain medication. He joined Logan in propping up the wall next to her door.

"You tell her ya love her ?" Logan asked.

Steve looked at the smaller man in askance. "Have you told Storm?" he countered.

"Yeah."

"I need to wait," Steve told him. "I don't want her to think I said it because I feel guilty about what happened."

"Yer probably right," he grunted. "Women got a funny way of thinkin'."

Steve gave a small snort of laughter. "I'll tell Ororo you said that."

"Ya won't if ya want ta keep all yer limbs," he growled.

"You won't," Steve said confidently. "If you hurt me, you hurt Carolyn, and the last thing you want to do is hurt her."

He grunted but said nothing. They stayed there in companionable silence until Storm came back out of the room.

"She's asleep," she informed them. "Why don't you two get some food and sleep. I'll stay until Jean gets here at six."

The two men looked at each other then at her.

"We can't leave her unprotected," Steve protested.

"What am I?" Storm demanded. "A basket of kittens?"

Rather than continue an argument they knew they'd loose, they both fled the med lab and did as she suggested.

The next six weeks went about as well as could be expected for someone who had nearly died from blood loss. She was very weak, physically, but her mind was as strong as ever. That was proven the day Sinister paid a surprise visit along with his Nasty Boys. Carolyn was alone in her room changing her clothes when they intruded on her. She was able to knock them all over and call for help from the X-Men without overtaxing herself. Logan, Steve and Remy deposited them on the front lawn and called for a trash pick up from S.H.I.E.L.D..

Nick Fury once again tried to get them to turn her over to him for her own safety.

"Considerin' that I don't have any trouble gettin' in and outta yer place, I don't think it's too safe fer her," Logan sneered. "She stays here."

"You of the same opinion, Cap?" he asked Steve.

"Yes, sir," Steve replied stiffly.

"I could order you to take her into custody."

"And it would be the first time I have ever disobeyed a direct order."

"You win," he sighed. "But neither she or her body can fall into enemy hands Cap."

"I know, sir. Carolyn and I have discussed the possibilities. We have contingency plans."

"I'll leave her to the X-Men then. Keep me informed." He climbed aboard the transport and was gone.

Logan had willingly served a two week suspension from active duty for his roll in the attack on Carolyn but what surprised him was that Scott was punished as well. As soon as Logan was finished with his suspension, Scott began his own. Charles had said that, as the leader of the X-Men, Scott should have tried to stop the plan. Instead, he had fully participated in it, endangering the life of a valuable asset to the team. Logan felt guilty about being glad that Scott was suspended. During the time he was off duty, command fell to Storm, delaying her return to XSE and Logan happily took advantage of the situation to spend more time with his lover.

Carolyn and Charles attempted to wake Selene from the mansion but were unsuccessful.She told him that the tendril of emotion she held the Black Queen with had ben cut when she severed the others. The reason for the coma wasn't because she was holding her. EEG's showed the woman was trapped in a series of nightmares. Carolyn believed they were sent by Selene's vengeful master. Either way, she remained in the coma.

Eight weeks after the attack, Carolyn and Steve were on a picnic on the back lawn. The others had made themselves scarce when Logan asked them. Carolyn was wondering where everyone had gone when Steve dropped to one knee and begged her to marry him. She was so stunned that she couldn't speak for a moment but then, tearfully agreed. Jubilee and Rogue were hiding in a tree near the lovers and heard everything. Rogue flew them back to the mansion where they cheerfully spread the news. By the time the came in from their date, everyone knew. Champaign flowed freely that night.

It was two days later that the letter arrived at the mansion. She was walking from the kitchen, on her way to the gym for a workout when she noticed the pile of mail on the table. The top letter had her name on it. She hadn't received any mail the entire time she had been living with the X-Men. Her curiosity made her look closer at the letter.

Her heart began to pound and nausea threatened to overwhelm her. She quickly squashed her fear and picked up the envelope.

It was from the Vatican.


	13. The Letter

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

A/N: As I begin this chapter, the death of Pope John Paul II has just been announced. My heart is heavy with grief from the loss to my church, my family and myself. I grieve most for the people of the world, who has lost a great and loving man. May the Lord protect and keep him until we meet again on the day of reckoning.

Archiving: Be my guest just tell me where it is.

Feedback: I love to hear from the people who read my stories. Even a short line telling me it was good or bad or suggestions to help me improve would be welcome.

Chapter 13: The Letter

She had been anticipating a letter from Rome for some time. She had written the Holy See several months ago, asking for their help and intercession with Mother Superior. She had just met Steve and was sure there was something between them but her vows were holding them back. The letter couldn't have come at a better time. Steve had just asked her to marry him.

She hadn't told him that she wasn't free to marry yet. She was hoping that it wouldn't be necessary to tell him. If this letter was what she thought is was, all she needed to do was sign it and send it back. She would be released from her vows as of the date of her signature.

The sounds of students running in the halls intruded into her thoughts. Oh yeah. Biology class. Better wait until she had privacy to open the letter. She didn't need any more gossip about her private life from the students. They had a tendency to wildly embellish the truth because they found her dull and unexciting. They tried to spice up her life by making up stories which she would have to chase down and correct. They were never malicious or hurtful. Most of the time, they were wildly funny. The fact that she wasn't mad at them didn't make it any less annoying to have to chase them down.

She was busy the remainder of the day. Classes took up a small part of it. The X-Men responded to an alarm late in the afternoon. She was left with Kurt, Kitty and Steve. The FOH rally was huge. It started out peaceful and went quickly downhill from there. It was a set up. Six hundred people were in the square when they arrived but an additional one thousand were hidden in the buildings and alleys all over the town. When Jean reported that Jubilee had been shot, the remaining X-Men and Captain America went into action. Carolyn went with them.

Scott was furious when he saw her get off the Blackbird II. She did the only thing she could do. She sucked out his anger and smothered him with calm. When she had gotten him calm enough for him to listen, she explained her plan to him.

"Cap?" Logan yelled during a lull in the action. "What the hell are ya doing here? Yer supposed ta be watchin' Carol." He ducked as Cap's shield came whizzing over his head to collide with the head of a bogey behind him.

"Brought her with me," Cap yelled as he caught his shield and turned to bury his fist in the face of a fat, denim covered hulk.

"Are you fuckin' crazy?" he demanded. "She ain't safe here." He sliced the club welded by a smallish man into four neat pieces. The man dropped everything and ran for his life.

"Safer here than in an empty mansion," Cap yelled back. He sent his shield at a group of men sneaking up on Cyclops, who was trying to make his way to them.

"Fall back," Cyclops ordered as he took out a wall hiding a large group of FOH solders. "Carolyn's going to try to do something."

"Let's go Cap," Logan yelled over the din. "There may be too many fer her ta handle."

The fought their way back to where the Blackbirds were parked.

"We're waiting for Rogue," Jean told them.

"She's commin'," Logan said as a green and yellow dot grew into their missing teammate.

"What's up?" she asked as she landed.

"Okay, Carolyn," Scott said, "we're all here. What's your idea?"

"I can't project calm to a group this large. They're too angry and murderous. I don't have the power to change such high emotion to calm with a group this big."

"So what are you going to do?" Cap asked.

"I need to exchange high emotion for high emotion. I'm going to give them the desire to go home and make love to their wives," she said with an embarrassed smile. "It's going to be a general wave, so if you don't want to get caught up in it, I need you to leave. Rogue will stay and take me back to the mansion."

"I don't like it," Logan growled.

"Neither do I," said Cap. "You won't have enough protection."

"If I were Rogue, I'd belt you for that one," Carolyn frowned at him.

"I just might do that, Sugah," Rogue scowled at Cap.

"She's invulnerable and can fly," Carolyn told him. "She's not affected by my powers so we won't have to worry about her being overcome by lust. You and Logan can't say the same. You both will be affected by the wave. Rogue isn't about to deal with it and I'm still a virgin. I'm not up to taking both of you on."

"Is it going to be that strong?" Jean gasped.

"Their emotions are very high. I have to counter it with emotions just as strong. Lust is the direct counter to rage. Logan can tell you that."

Logan had the grace to look embarrassed. Many women had paid for his rages. He couldn't help himself. He was horny after the berserker rages. He never had to resort to rape. The man in him was in control enough to prevent that, but it was close a few times. The first time it happened after he had started to see Ororo, it nearly tore them apart. The beast frightened her. After that, with a combination of meditation and masturbation, he was able to calm himself enough that he didn't frighten her. It bothered him that she couldn't deal with this part of him.

Cap, on the other hand, had never even come close to rape. He had trouble understanding why some men rape. If a woman didn't want you, no amount of force will make her change her mind. He loved Carolyn. So much that he intended to wait until they were married to initiate her.

After thinking about it, both men agreed to leave and allow Rogue to protect her.

She waited until the Blackbirds were heading for the horizon before getting started.

"Take me about one hundred feet over the square," She told the beautiful southern belle.

"Ah hope ya know what yer doin'," Rogue said as she picked Carolyn up by the armpits and took off.

When they were above the crowd in approximately the center, she began to project. The crowd began to slow and falter. The outer groups were the first to leave. The emotion was cooler there. After thirty minutes, the square was empty and the rally was over.

"Let's go home," she said, exhausted.

"Anything ya say, Sugah," Rogue said as she flew back to the mansion.

Landings, when you're flying via Rogue express, can be fairly rough. She flies so fast that it's difficult to slow down. She also forgets that her passenger isn't necessarily as invulnerable as she is. As a result, Carolyn found herself lying on her back on the front lawn, too tired to get up.

"Ya okay Sugah?" she asked as she hovered over Carolyn's prone form.

"I'm fine Rogue," she replied. "I'm just going to take a nap here. Let the others know, will ya?"

"Silly," Rogue smiled. "Here comes Steve. He'll take ya in."

"Thanks for the ride," Carolyn told her. "Remind me never to do that again."

"Carolyn!" Steve yelled. He was running full speed from the house to where she was lying. He evidently didn't know what Carolyn did. The sprinklers had just shut off and the ground was wet. When he tried to slow down and stop, his feet flew out from under him and he landed hard on his back, almost right next to her.

She propped herself up on her elbows and looked down on his shocked face.

"Your other codename is 'Grace' isn't it?" she asked him deadpanned.

He smiled up at her. "I left my balance in my other pants."

"That explains it," she laughed and threw herself into his arms.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he nuzzled her neck.

"I'm fine," she told him, shivering as his lips found a sensitive spot. "I was a little air sick and the landing wasn't any great shakes but all in all, it went well."

"No headache this time?"

"Nope. I didn't have to hold on to them this time. Lust or anger, once started, take on a life of their own. All I had to do is get things going." She stopped and yawned. "I'm very tired though."

"Well, let's get you inside so you can clean up and get to bed." He rose and lifted her in his arms.

"I can walk," she protested.

"I like the way you feel in my arms," he growled playfully. "Stay put."

"Carolyn," Charles said as he met them at the door, "you should not have gone on this mission."

She looked at him with opened mouth astonishment. "You're kidding me, right? Put me down Steve." He set her gently on her feet.

"No, I am most certainly not kidding."

"I just ended a near riot without bloodshed and you say I was wrong to go?" she yelled, her anger growing.

"You are less than twenty-four hours from lock down," he told her angrily. "You could have been taken. Don't make me restrict you to the mansion."

"I'll leave before I let you do that," she screamed. "I am not you prisoner. I am an X-Man."

"If I may interrupt," Steve said loudly. "You are both omega level mutants. An argument between you two might do some serious damage to the minds on the eastern seaboard."

She stepped back, appalled at what she was doing. She took several calming breaths before she spoke again.

"I'm sorry Charles," she said with dignity. "I went on the mission because the alternative was remaining here alone. I helped because I could. I don't regret my decision. If I had to do it over, I would do everything exactly the same way. No one was killed."

"We don't know that yet," Charles said calmly. "We don't know what happened after you left."

"I didn't leave the emotions behind. I took them with me. When we left, the effect left with us."

"Can you guarantee there were no deaths?"

"There is no way I can guarantee life Charles. Only God has that power."

Charles let out his breath with a frustrated whoosh.

"She's right Professor," Steve said. "Things happen during the best of times. She did what she had to do to end the situation peacefully. You can't blame her for doing the job she was born to do." He ended the confrontation by taking her by the arm and pulling her into the house.

She stopped in the threshold and faced Charles. "This was why you recruited me, Charles. Do you regret it now?" She turned and walked into the house, her head held high and not giving him the chance to answer.

He escorted her to her room and waited while she showered and changed into sweats. She returned to the room with a towel wrapped around her hair but feeling much better. She sat on the bed and removed the towel.

"Hand me my comb please," she told Cap.

He picked up the comb from the nightstand and positioned himself behind her.

"I talked to Logan," he told her as he pulled the comb slowly through her hair. "Jubilee will be okay. She has a bullet wound to her left thigh but it's being treated."

"How's Logan handling it?"

"He's pacing like a lion. I've called Storm and let her know. I figured he was too distracted to remember to call her."

"Is she coming?"

"She can't. They're in China and the mission is too important for her to leave right now."

"Does Jubilee know?"

"I haven't seen her yet but I told Logan. He didn't look happy. I don't want to talk about them. I want to talk about us," he said as he kissed her neck. "Lock down starting tomorrow?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "I hate this. I can't even go outside for three days."

"It will come in handy when we decide to start our family," he smiled. "You'll already know your cycle."

She turned around in his arms and faced him, her eyes bright.

"Let's start now," she said.

"What?" he demanded.

"Make love to me," she begged. "Give me a baby."

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, slowly and sweetly.

"I love you," He whispered. "So much that I'm saying no."

"But..."

"Your values say sex before marriage is wrong. I won't let you compromise your values because you don't like three days out of every month. It won't be forever Carolyn. Once you've powered up, the watch will be over. You'll be too powerful for anyone to mess with."

"I suppose," she sighed as she turned and settled herself into his lap. "I'm dreading the day."

"Why?" he asked

"Omega mutants tend to loose their mental stability," she told him. "I'm not the most stable person here. I'm afraid my power up may be the last straw for me. I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad is going to happen."

"I'll be here for you," he promised. "No matter what happens, I'll never stop loving you."

She shifted so she was lying across his lap and looked into his eyes. "I love you too Steve."

She reached up and pulled him toward her, they're lips meeting. He pulled back and looked at her. Her eyes broadcast her love clearly. His lips descended slowly. When they touched hers, he felt as if he'd come home. The kiss deepened, tongues dueled, tasting. His hands stroked, lovingly, her arms, neck and back. She was trembling with desire. She wanted him, badly.

"Oh God," she gasped as she broke the kiss. "I want you."

"I want you," he told her, his voice rough. "But no. I'm leaving now." He extracted himself from her arms and stood.

"But Steve," she protested, trying to get out of the bed and pull him back. He pushed her away.

"Don't touch me Carolyn," he warned.

"But I want to."

"Call Fr. Ryan in the morning but stay away from me now."

"That will take three weeks," she protested.

"Then it takes three weeks. I love you Carolyn but I want to do this right. Call Fr. Ryan."

"Oh alright," she said disgusted.

"It's late. Get some sleep." He kissed the top of her head and left.

"Men," she swore.

Sleep was a long time coming.

It was morning before she remembered the letter. She tucked it into her back pocket and went downstairs to breakfast where she found out that Steve had been called out during the night and wasn't back yet. She ate a light breakfast of cereal and fruit then grabbed a cup of coffee and took it to the den. She had just gotten comfortable on the couch and was opening her letter when Kitty came in a flicked the TV on.

"You want to go to the mall with me?" she asked as she tuned in a cartoon.

"Lock down starting today," she told her. "Maybe next weekend."

"How about a workout in the Danger Room?"

"I'm still kind of tired from yesterday." He stomach lurched. She felt slightly nauseous. "I'm goin to lie down for a while."

"You must really be tired," Kitty said.

"I am," she said as she got up and went to her room.

The further she walked, the more her stomach rolled. By the time she got to her room, it was all she could do to get to her bathroom before she threw up. The strange thing was, she felt better as soon as her stomach was empty. 'Milk must have been bad,' she thought.

She pulled the letter from her pocket and opened it. It wasn't what she thought it was. It was worse. 'Oh God, please no. Don't do this to me.' She had to get out. She sent a general feeling of disinterest in her where abouts and fled the mansion, the letter crumpled in her hand.

"Has anyone seen Carolyn?" Rogue asked the group gathered in the den.

"I'm sure she's around here somewhere," Bobby said, engrossed in a Saturday morning cartoon.

"Jean, where's Carolyn?"

"Not sure."

"Logan, so you know where Carolyn is?"

"Don't care," He told her. "I'm headin' fer the city ta see 'Ro."

"You seen Carolyn, Swamp Rat?"

"Remy'd rather see you chere."

"Cerebra, where is Carolyn?"

"Carolyn Gibson is not on the grounds," Cerebra answered.

"Isn't she ovulatin' today?"

"Affirmative."

"Who's with her?"

"She is unaccompanied."

"She's out there alone?"

"Affirmative."

"Why would she leave without someone with her?"

"I have no further information."

"Ferget it. Thanks Cerebra." She ran from the War Room to get help to find her missing friend.

She had just made it to her upper levels when Cerebra set off alarms and a wave of despair washed over her.

"Omega mutant detected. Power signature matches Carolyn Gibson. Location: Salem Center New York."

Wave after wave of crushing despair crashed over her, driving her to her knees. Tears began to flow. Soul wrenching pain filled her. Grief, the end of all that has been accomplished over the years, the death of the spirit, and total rejection filled her mind.

"Oh, my God," Rogue gasped. "Carolyn! "Ah can feel it!"

The alarms continued to blare unanswered, the X-Men, overcome with her spiritual pain, were unableto help.


	14. Of God and Man

Of God and Man

Disclaimers: See Chapter 1

A/N: This is it guys. The last chapter. It's very sad, and very happy. Please be a good reader and let me know how it affected you. It didn't really turn out the way I envisioned it when I started but that happens sometimes.

Feedback: I love to get feedback. It helps me to improve my storytelling ability.

Chapter 14: Of God and Man

Rogue was struggling. She had to get a hold on the emotions swirling through her. Carolyn needed her to be clear headed and calm. This is where Rogue's mutation came in handy. She had absorbed so many personalities over the years that she had become proficient at locking foreign emotions away to separate herself from the others in her head. With years of practice, she was able to enter the astral plane and gather the emotions and cage them. Once again, she was clear headed although the echo of Carolyn's despair grated on her nerves.

She ran through the mansion, trying to find someone who could help her. Jean and Scott were unconscious in the kitchen. Bobby and Kitty, along with three young students were in the den, some on the couch, some on the floor. None were in any shape to help. She found Jubilee, Hank and Logan on the lower levels in the med lab. Jubilee and Hank appeared to be unconscious. Logan, however, was struggling to control himself.

"Logan," she gasped. "Carolyn's in trouble."

He didn't answer except to growl through gritted teeth. His eyes were swimming with tears.

"Logan," she yelled. "Get a grip. We gotta help Carolyn." She slapped him, hard.

His head snapped sideways. Quickly, it jerked back, his claws popping with a loud 'snickt'.

"Carolyn," she yelled in his face. "She's in trouble."

"Carol?"

"She's outside alone," Rogue told him. "Something's happened. Ah can feel it. She's had a power up."

"Alone?"

"Yeah, come on. We hafta help her."

Logan got to his feet on shaky legs.

"Are ya back in control?" Rogue asked.

"I'm fine," he told her, his voice rough. "Where is she?"

"Cerebra says she's in town. I'll fly ya there."

They ran back through the mansion, they're steps faltering each time they passed a teem member. Most were unconscious. Occasionally, they came on one who was crying uncontrollably. Logan was having a hard time controlling his own tears. He knew the emotions weren't his, they were Carolyn's. That she was in so much emotional pain at the time of her power up frightened him.

They were airborne as soon as they left the house.

"Do ya see her?" Rogue asked as they circled Salem Center.

"No," he yelled back. "If she's feeling like this, she's probably hiding or somewhere alone. Check the fields outside of town." A shaft of surprise and pain shot through them almost causing Rogue to loose her grip. Logan gasped. She was close. He began to smell fresh blood. "She's hurt," he yelled to Rogue. "I smell blood. She's upwind of here."

'Logan?' a voice intruded on his mind. 'It's Carolyn.'

'Carol?' he asked astonished. 'How are ya doin' this?'

'Power up,' she told him. Her mental voice was filled with pain.

'Where are ya?'

'Tell Steve I loved him.'

'Where are ya!' He was screaming in his head.

'Make sure Rogue gets to church on Sundays.'

"No," he yelled, mentally and physically.

'Remember your promise.' Joy filled them. 'So beautiful,' she gasped.

And the emotions were suddenly gone. It was so disorienting that Rogue dropped him, allowing him to fall fifty feet to the ground.

He rolled over, his wounds healing and bound to his feet. The coppery smell of blood filled his nostrils. He oriented himself and made his was toward the scent. He knew what he would find. He sent out a mental call to the other X-Men.

He found her in a pasture lying in a growing pool of her own blood. A local farmer was standing over her, a bloody knife in his hand and a look of horror on his face. Carolyn's blood was spattered over his clothes and skin.

"She was hurting so bad," he mumbled, his eyes glassy. "I couldn't stand it. I had to do something."

Logan bent quickly over the body and searched for a pulse.

"She's dead," he said with a flat voice. He pulled the crumpled sheets of paper from her hand.

"Oh God," the farmer gasped. "What have I done?"

Rogue landed beside him and took the knife from his slack hand. Tears were streaming down her face. She couldn't find it in herself to comfort the horrified man. Her best friend was dead by his hand.

The hum of the Blackbird overhead drew their eyes from the grisly tableau. The jet landed quickly and the ramp dropped open. Every X-Man in residence streamed out of the plane and gathered in a circle around their fallen member.

"What happened?" Scott croaked.

"I killed her," the farmer whispered. "Oh, God, I killed her." He fell to the ground, crying.

"She was radiating pain and despair, Cyke. He's not responsible," Logan told him sadly. "He just wanted her ta feel better."

"But why was she in so much pain?"

"Don't know," Logan's voice was rough. "I found this letter in her hand. I don't read Latin."

Kurt stepped up and took the letter and began to read. The more he read, the paler he became.

"Oh my God," he whispered as he crossed himself.

"What is it?" Jean asked.

"She's been excommunicated."

"On, no," Rogue moaned.

"What's that mean?" Logan demanded.

"She has been denied heaven by the church," Kurt explained.

"She was Catholic?" the farmer asked. Kurt nodded. "What did she do to get excommunicated?"

"She was born," Scott told him, his voice hard. "Let's do what we have to do. Sir, you'll have to take your clothes off. Jean, some clothes for him. Rogue, put the knife on the body along with the clothes."

Kurt pulled a small box from his pocket and knelt down beside the body. He anointed her forehead, hands and feet, murmuring prayers as he went. The oil perfumed the air with a sweet scent.

"Can ya do this darlin'?" Logans asked Jubilee as she limped to his side.

"Yeah," she nodded, tears gathering in her eyes. "It needs ta be done."

When they were ready, they gathered around the body and Jubilee sent her power streaming into it. Carolyn's body glowed red, then white with heat. When she was finished, there was nothing left except a small blood stained Crucifix, too hot to handle. Bobby sent a cooling mist over it. When it was cool to touch, he picked it up and gave it to Logan.

"Cap should have this," he said. Logan nodded, a huge lump in his throat.

They returned to the jet and left. The last thing that was done was a small mind probe that erased the memory of the incident from the farmer's mind.

When they returned to the mansion, Steve was waiting.

"What happened?" he demanded. "Where's Carolyn?"

He watched as the team passed, their shoulders stooped in grief. No one would meet his eyes. Most were silently crying. Steve felt his heart pound with dread.

Logan was the last off the plane. He stopped before his friend and lifted his face to look him in the eye.

"She loved you," he said quietly. "She wanted ya to know that."

"No!" he gasped in disbelief. He bound into the plane calling for her.

He searched the entire plane, calling, then crying her name. Logan was unable to help him overcome his denial. He watched, ready to catch him when he fell.

"She can't be dead," he said desperately. "If she is, where's the body? I won't believe it until I see her body."

"She asked that her body be cremated, immediately," Logan told him quietly. "She didn't want her DNA ta get inta the wrong hands." He pulled the Crucifix from his pocket and placed into Steve's hand. "This survived. We think you need to have it."

Steve looked at the tiny emblem of her faith that had never left her neck in the months he knew her and it hit him; she was dead. She would never had allowed the Crucifix to be removed unless she was. His shoulders began to shake as he held in the sobs of pain that threatened to tear him apart. He felt Logan place his hand on his shoulder and the dam broke.

Logan watched as his friend cried, his own eyes moist. Steve wept for ten minutes, his heart breaking with the pain, the loss.

"What happened?" he asked when he was in control again.

"Let's go have a beer and I'll tell ya," Logan said.

Logan guided him into the kitchen and parked him by the counter while dug in the refrigerator for his beer. When he turned back around, Steve was gone. He sighed. He knew where Cap was going.

He made his was to the team wing, stopping to talk to Rogue as he went. He found Cap exactly where he thought he would. He was standing in the middle of Carolyn's room, holding her comb.

"She wanted me to make love to her last night," Steve told him. "She was tired of the lock downs. She figured that if she was pregnant, Charles would let her go outside as much as she wanted. I didn't have the heart to tell her it would get worse."

"Did ya?" Logan asked.

"No," Steve said shaking his head. "I told her I wouldn't compromise her values because she didn't like three days of every month. It was the hardest thing I ever did, walking out of here."

"She got a letter," Logan began. "She didn't tell anyone about it but one of the students saw it on her desk. I guess she wanted ta be alone when she opened it so she sent a feeling of disinterest ta all of us so we wouldn't look fer her. She took off and went to the other side of town and read the letter. She was excommunicated Cap. The church meant everythin' ta her. Loosin' that part of her life tore her apart. She started ta project despair and pain. We all could feel it but it knocked us down, it was so strong. When Rogue started ta feel it, she knew Carol'd had a power up. She found me and knocked me outta the self pity Carol's emotions had caused and we went ta search fer her. We found her in a field, stabbed ta death by a farmer. He felt her pain so much that he needed ta put her outta her misery. She made me promise when she first found out about her potential that I would be sure ta burn her body right away."

"And you did?" Steve asked.

"Jubilee did," Logan told him. "We needed ta make sure there wasn't anything left ta clone."

"I felt it," he whispered. "We were in Jersey and I could feel it there. I knew it was Carolyn and my fear drove the despair out of me. I left the rest of the Avengers behind and flew here."

"Then you felt the joy at the end," Logan stated. Steve nodded, fresh tears spilling over his eyes and down his cheeks.

"And the farmer?" he sniffed.

"Jean wiped his memory."

"He needs to be brought to justice," Steve objected.

"Fer killin' a mutant? Ya know it'll never happen."

"She could have been the first."

"She was usin' her powers. No jury in the world would convict a mutant killer if the mutant was usin' her powers. 'Specially an omega mutant. And if we were ta leave her body ta the authorities, they'd take samples and do DNA tests. Any one of those samples coulda been grown inta a clone. Every clone of hers would be omega level but without the religion that kept her honest. We couldn't risk that happenin'."

"So he gets off?" Steve yelled. "He killed the woman I loved!"

"He couldn't help himself," Logan told him. "He was bein' controlled by Carol's powers."

"Leave me alone Logan. I need to think."

Logan took a sniff before he left. Grief with a smattering of anger. Not enough to make him try to get the farmer and no odor of possible suicidal intentions. Heleft the beer on the dresser andwent to his roomto called Tony Stark and tell him what had happened.

A week later, Carolyn's name was added to the monument dedicated to the fallen X-Men. Neither Steve nor Logan could bring themselves to attend the ceremony. Steve refused to come to the mansion even on business. If the X-Men wanted to talk, they had to go to him.

Logan sat on the dock, throwing pebbles into the lake and thinking while the others were at the dedication ceremony. He smelled the distinctive scent of brimstone as Kurt walked up behind him.

"They done?" he asked, not turning around.

"Ja," Kurt said. "You should have come. It was nice."

He grunted in response and continued to throw pebbles. Kurt watched him for a while, then sighing, he turned to leave.

"Elf," Logan stopped him. "Why did God abandon Carol?"

Kurt walked over an squatted beside him.

"God didn't abandon her Logan, man did," Kurt told him.

"She was excommunicated by her church."

"That doesn't mean God abandoned her. It meant that her aunt got to the ear of a powerful Cardinal. God doesn't desert those who truly believe." He shifted so he could see Logan's face better. "You felt the joy as she died, ja?"

Logan nodded. He had felt an overwhelming joy just before the emotions were cut off.

"That was when God touched her. She knew that God loved her and was bringing her home. She's happy now. No one can hurt her ever again."

Logan didn't speak. He was lost in his thoughts.

"She changed us," Kurt said quietly. "I have Kitty and you have Storm. Kitty and Jubilee are acting like sisters now. And Rogue will be baptized next Easter. She made us all rethink who we are and what our role is in the bigger picture. We will never be the same."

He didn't hear Kurt leave but that didn't surprise him. He continued to watch the ripples in the water caused by the pebbles as the fell in. He heard voices overhead and glanced up to see Jean and Rogue fly over him, deep in conversation. They had never gotten alongvery well until Carolyn made them see how much they were alike.A car door slammed behind himand he turned to see Jubilee climb into Kitty's car, chattering away excitedly to the little ninja. Both of them were smiling. Hank was out of his lab, wandering through Ororo's gardens, clipboard in hand. Remy and Bobby were shooting hoops on the court, arguing loudly about the rules. Cyke was chasing a fluttering sheet of paper that was staying determinedly out of his reach.

'Ah darlin',' he thought. 'Ya changed us, and fer the better.' He thought about what he had with Ororo.Carolyn turning him down was the best thing that ever happened to him.'Ro was good for him. He jumped up and headed back to the house.

"Logan," Scott yelled. "Help me catch that thing."

"Can't right now," He yelled happily. "I need ta go ta the city and ask 'Ro a question."

Finis


End file.
